Lady #1: This stuff is really good. It has antidotes in it. It’s good for your skin.
Lady #2: You mean ANTIOXIDANTS. An ANTIDOTE is a short story.
–Barnes & Noble
Lady #1: This stuff is really good. It has antidotes in it. It’s good for your skin.
Lady #2: You mean ANTIOXIDANTS. An ANTIDOTE is a short story.
–Barnes & Noble
Girl in short skirt: Hey, that hobo just whistled at me!
Girl in tight pants: Ohmigod, he totally whistled at me like five minutes ago!
Girl in short skirt: Maybe he has something caught in his throat?
Girl in tight pants: No, I think were just really hot.
–Pond Bench, Central Park
Overheard by: A Person with Ears
Young woman to another: I've done some soul searching. I'm now willing to believe it's not butter.
–Park Ave & E. 79th
Overheard by: andy
Annoying lady to worker who apparently mishandled her food: Apologize to the sandwich!
–Subway, Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Robert
Chick on cell: I try to eat as many acidic things as possible since I have a very creamy nature.
–35th & 7th
Girl on cell: Girrrrllll…he was meltin' me like butter last night.
–Bedford Ave & N 5th
Overheard by: Marleni
College guy: All molds are not created equal! Think about yogurt, man, it's all frickin mold!
–Columbia College Walk
Would-be CIA student on cell: Yeah, so I think my interview at the CIA went well. I think I'll really like it there. (notices people around him) …the Culinary institute of America! (everyone smiles)
–80th & Broadway
Overheard by: Roth Hall
Dude on cell: Alright, listen up. If the guy gets up and walks away, he's not dead. If you come back and he's still lying there, he's dead, you follow? So, in that situation you are just going to go through the motions like we discussed.
–23th & 7th
Overheard by: mel
Random man on bicycle to doorman: You never know when you're going to eat a bad mushroom and die.
–87th St & York Ave
Overheard by: Critter
Jersey woman, looking at a case with brains that suffered from major stroke: Oh my gawd… They probably died from that!
–Bodies The Exhibition, South St Seaport
Guy shopping in art supply on a cell: So you're banking on dying young, then?
–Art Store, Williamsburg
Spacey old guy to friends, calmly: I want to murder that guy. (even more calmly) I've got bloodlust in my heart.
–9th St b/w 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: JKW
Woman on cell: You want to be cremated, right? (pause) Well, then what the hell are we going to do with you?
–Park Ave
BBW: She had her first colonic when she was twelve.
–Brooklyn Heights
Girl #1: I keep getting urinary tract infections.
Girl #2: Well, maybe he has a dirty penis.
Girl #1: No, I wash it for him in the shower.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Susan
Chick: Are you hungry? I have some leftover vietnamese food you can have.
Hobo: Well, what is it? I’m religious. I don’t eat pork.
Chick: There’s no pork. It’s just vegetarian noodles.
Hobo: Noodles? Nah, I’m trying to cut back on carbs.
–Grand Central food court
Thugette: … And that was the last time I ever messed around with dehydration, yo.
Preggers thugette: Fo’ real.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: wait.. what?
Little boy, watching teen girl smoking: Why are people always smoking cigarettes?
Dad: Because they are addictive. That is why daddy quit. Do you want to tell the nice girl what will happen to her if she doesn't quit?
Little boy: Well, first you'll get really sick. And then you'll die. (pause) And then you'll be dead!
–15th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Nora Claire
Zaftig female usher: I’m trying so hard to lose weight, but I’m having the hardest time!
Obese female usher: You have to cut out sugar. That’s what I do.
–Avenue Q, Golden Theatre
