And in the Closet

Drunk hipster guy #1 (screaming): Let's see who can make out with the fattest girl tonight. Whoever makes out with the fattest gets ten dollars from everyone else.
Drunk hipster guy #2 (also screaming): Yeah, and if there's a close call, she can judge.
Drunk hipster girl: Hey, I want in on this action! That could be 50 bucks.
Guy #1: Okay, okay, you can play too. But if it comes down to a close call between us guys you have to decide which girl is fatter.
Drunk hipster guy #3: And she can have a good personality.
Drunk hipster guy #4: Why are we screaming?
Drunk hipster guy #1: Because we're Italian.

–LIRR

Overheard by: revolted

Posted on January 6, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Drunks, Hipsters, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Money & Class, Trains Not Subway, Weirdness

The Sure Cure for Imaginary Problems

Hipster teenage girl: Yeah, trust me you'd know if you'd seen me disgruntled.
Hipster teenage boy: I haven't?
Hipster teenage girl: Nope. Well…talking online, maybe.
Hipster teenage boy: Oh, you're always disgruntled online. You always have some huge, massive crisis.
Hipster teenage girl: Oh yeah, once I was really pissed off at you. I scream a lot when I'm disgruntled.
Hipster teenage boy: At me?
Hipster teenage girl: No, just in general. At my room mostly.
(long pause)
Hipster teenage girl: I'm bored. Let's go to my house and do some lines!

–Park Slope

Posted on January 6, 2009
Anger Management, Chat, Cocaine, Hipsters, Park Slope, Teens

Like a Lifetime of Being Doubly Oppressed?

Gay black hipster to cop: Officer, of course he stole my five dollars! It was mine. It was right there.
Straight white hippie: I did not take anything of yours.
Gay black hipster to cop: Officer, who are you gonna believe, him or me? I mean, look at him–he's not even dressed well!
Straight white hippie: Dude, I hope something seriously bad happens to you.

–Union Square Subway Station

Posted on January 1, 2009
Black People, Clothing, Cops, Hippies, Hipsters, Money & Class, On the Subway, Queer guys, Thievery, Union Square and East Village

Your Perspicaciousness Is Prodigious, You Desiccated Harridan

Teenage girl: Mom! You're being obsequious.
Hip mom: Oh. “Obsequious.” Big word. Either you've started studying for the SATs or you're just pandering to your intellectual higher-ups. My guess is the latter.

–78th St & Broadway

Posted on January 1, 2009
Education, Family Ties, Hipsters, Moms, School and studying, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

“Don't Hate Me Because I'm Wednesday One-Liner”

Female hipster, loudly: I hate those two! They're egomaniacs with low self esteem!

–Staten Island

Overheard by: Johnny Drongo

Sullen-looking girl: I guess it's just incumbent on me to be cheerful regardless of the fact that I hate everything.

–Warren St & W Broadway

Overheard by: Tha WB

Girl at Dali exhibition: I hate people. I hate museums. I really hate Spaniards.

–Dali and Film Exhibition, MoMA

Overheard by: Andi C.

Concerned girl to friends: Maybe if we stopped singing Simon & Garfunkel so loudly, people would hate us less.

–Grand Central

Teen girl: I just hate her so much! I'm not even going to Facebook friend her, I hate her so much!

–B Train

Overheard by: Jen

European woman wearing I Love NY shirt, holding Sex & the City box set: I hate Americans.

–Canal & Lafayette

Posted on December 17, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Eurotrash, Facebook, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Gripes, Happiness, Hipsters, MoMA, Money & Class, Music, On the Subway, Staten Island, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Same Reason You're Allowed to Watch Bring It On! and I'm Not

Hipster girl to smoking boyfriend: You shouldn't smoke. Smoking's bad for you.
Boyfriend: You smoke.
Hipster girl: Yeah, but I'm a film major and you're pre-med.

–NYU

Overheard by: good point?

Posted on December 13, 2008
Advice, Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Hipsters, NYU, Smoking

Did You See the Girl with the Shoes?

Red beard hipster: We thought we lost you guys.
Methhead ditz hipster: No, we went down that street.
Red beard hipster: Oh, that street.
Methhead ditz hipster: No, not that street, that street.
Red beard hipster: Oh, cool.

–McDonald's

Overheard by: BigKahuna&BigRed

Posted on December 7, 2008
Directions, Hipsters, Meatheads, Restaurants & Cafes, Weirdness

But If That's the Way You Roll…

Rollerblading hipster #1: Do you know what the worst part of rollerblading is?
Rollerblading hipster #2: What?
Rollerblading hipster #1: Having to tell your parents you're gay…

–3rd Ave & 14th St