Guy: I will have a coffee.
Waitress: We don’t have anything hot.
Guy: Then an iced coffee, please?
–New York Comedy Club, East 24th Street
Overheard by: Eric Kuhn
Guy: I will have a coffee.
Waitress: We don’t have anything hot.
Guy: Then an iced coffee, please?
–New York Comedy Club, East 24th Street
Overheard by: Eric Kuhn
Guy #1: Get out of the way! You’re in the walking lane and
people are trying to pass.
Guy #2: What walking lane? Only an idiot would walk on an elevator. People who walk are idiots.
Guy #1: This is called an escalator.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Nicole Victoria
Girl: Let’s take the stairs.
Guy: But the stairs are so…leg-oriented.
–Tisch School of the Arts
Guy: It’s like a conveyor belt for miserable people.
–Penn Station
Dude on cell: Alright, listen up. If the guy gets up and walks away, he's not dead. If you come back and he's still lying there, he's dead, you follow? So, in that situation you are just going to go through the motions like we discussed.
–23th & 7th
Overheard by: mel
Random man on bicycle to doorman: You never know when you're going to eat a bad mushroom and die.
–87th St & York Ave
Overheard by: Critter
Jersey woman, looking at a case with brains that suffered from major stroke: Oh my gawd… They probably died from that!
–Bodies The Exhibition, South St Seaport
Guy shopping in art supply on a cell: So you're banking on dying young, then?
–Art Store, Williamsburg
Spacey old guy to friends, calmly: I want to murder that guy. (even more calmly) I've got bloodlust in my heart.
–9th St b/w 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: JKW
Woman on cell: You want to be cremated, right? (pause) Well, then what the hell are we going to do with you?
–Park Ave
A blonde, cherubic-looking little girl of about two, clad in only a diaper, is smearing feces all over her chest. Two young women look on helplessly, clutching napkins.
Young woman: I wish we had a sprinkler.
–Lafayette & Prince
Overheard by: elise n
Dude: … And they put, like, these cranberry raisins in it.
Chick: I don’t like raisins.
Dude: No, but like, they don’t taste like raisins — they’re totally cranberries.
Chick: I really hate raisins, though.
–Cosi, 13th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dani
Lady: ‘Scuse me, sir. Can you tell me how to get to Baltimore?
Man: That’s in Maryland
Lady: Damn.
–Times Square
Dude: He’s the black, blind Motown equivalent of Kenny G.
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Girl, while leaving screening of "I am legend": Okay… I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.
–Fresh Meadows, Queens
Overheard by: hmmm…
Curly-haired chick: Has New Order become an okay kinky sex background band? Am I *old*?
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Poogins
Guy, standing next to guy listening to Journey on his iPod: Get away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!
–2 Train
Dumb girl dressed like Scary Spice en route to the concert: Yeah, a lot of people think that the Spice Girls like, reinstated feminism.
–NJ Transit
Yale grad: Eminem has a wonderful sense of meter.
–Court St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: Justin Casement
Queer: We only stayed for 15 minutes, I’m not that into karaoke. And when a coven of lesbians start casting their spells to "My Sharona", I was outta there."
–Chambers & Greenwich
Overheard by: Grand Witch Muffy
Annoyed gate lady: Sorry, sir, the plane is being delayed one hour and could be delayed longer.
Frequent flyer: What if I get upgraded to first class?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Mike
20-ish guy #1: I don’t understand why there are still pay phones in the city. Who doesn’t have a cell phone?
20-ish guy #2: I don’t understand why women are allowed to talk.
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Also Wondering About Both
Guy #1: Dude, let’s go see Fiddler on the Roof. I heard it’s sick.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s the sequel to The Wizard of Oz, right? With the witch of the East… Right?
Guy #1: Let’s go get high.
Guy #2: Okay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Darius Izad
