Disillusioned guy: Yeah, man, he kicked the shit out of Santa Claus just last week, and I was shocked ’cause I thought Santa was psychic.
–K-Mart, 34th St
Overheard by: ginpalace
Disillusioned guy: Yeah, man, he kicked the shit out of Santa Claus just last week, and I was shocked ’cause I thought Santa was psychic.
–K-Mart, 34th St
Overheard by: ginpalace
Female future-voter #1: Saddam should be tortured and cut up into pieces instead of being in jail comfortably.
Female future-voter #2: Wait, didn’t Saddam die of cancer a little while ago?
Female future-voter #1: Oh my God, did he? Are you sure?!
Female future-voter #2: I was sure, but now I’m not so sure.
Female future-voter #1: You know who else died recently? Aaron Spelling!
Female future-voter #2: No way!
–28th & Lex
Girl #1: James told me that Sara and Greg just got a dog together!
Girl #2: Oh my gawd, they’ve only been together for, like, two months!
Girl #1: I know! James asked me if I wanted to get a dog with him and I was like, “Hello, I’m not even ready to have an abortion with you yet, let alone get a dog!”
–Serafina restaurant
Overheard by: Appalled
Girl: Isn’t your dad Swiss?
Guy: No, he’s Swedish.
Girl: Oh, that’s right: people are Swedish, things are Swiss. Well, actually, they’re interchangeable.
–Sprint Store, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Thunder
Person #1: So, what’s the third state in the tri-state area? I know: New Jersey…Certainly New York. Is it Connecticut?
Person #2: You never hear about a bi-state area.
Person #1: What about Nicaragua. Didn’t you have sex with both a girl and a boy there?
Person #2: I don’t think the country of Nicaragua bases its sense of identity on my sexual exploits.
Person #1: Is Long Island a state?
–9th & Ave A
Cop #1: We wouldn’t have so much crime here if Law & Order was set somewhere else. I mean, they’re just giving people ideas, and making them think it’s entertaining.
Cop #2: Uh huh. And the show also makes people think the force is full of skilled, competent officers.
Cop #1: I guess I object to that, too.
–John’s Pizza, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Jebediah
Headline by: Nick
Runners-Up:
· “As Do The Tourists Who Expect Him to Help When They’re Being Mugged” – Sinead
· “But The Worst Part Is, When Lenny Makes A Joke About A Corpse Everyone Thinks It’s Adorable, But When I Do It I Get Some Bitch Widow Calling Me Insensitive” – Kate
· “His remote’s in his holster and his TV is broken.” – Nick
· “I guess Vincent D’Onofrio is skilled, if by skilled you mean unbearable to watch” – that guy
· “I’m more of a Village People Cop than a Law & Order Cop” – ak
· “If the Sci-Fi Channel folded, we wouldn’t have so many alien invasions, either” – Matthew
· “If they brought back Cop Rock, this job would be a cake walk” – tony ska
· “It’s moments like these that make me wish I was set somewher else” – Jenina
· “Wow I was always saying that wrong. So it’s *Life* imitates *Art*?” – srednivashtar
· “You should have seen this town when “Naked City” was on.” – J. A. G.
Intern #1: So I was watching this thing on TV about Nelson Mandela.
Intern #2: I don’t remember him.
Intern #1: He’s famous.
Intern #2: Oh yeah, didn’t he used to be a host on MTV?
–59th & Lex
Tourist #1, looking at sign: What is a bunion?
Tourist #2: It sounds like something you can eat.
Tourist #1: Like an onion bun?
Tourist #2: Yeah, like that.
Tourist #1: Mmm, that makes me hungry. Let’s get some food when we get off the train.
–2 train
Overheard by: dubs
Girl #1: So I played that drinking game, flip cup, the other day.
Girl #2: Oh man, that game is the best. Last time I played it, I ended up falling out a window.
–The Gap, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Mandy
