JAP #1: Ohmigod, it's so good to see you…I didn't know you lived on up here.
JAP #2: I don't. I live downtown.
JAP #1: Oh really? Where?
JAP #2: 52nd street.
–Starbucks
JAP #1: Ohmigod, it's so good to see you…I didn't know you lived on up here.
JAP #2: I don't. I live downtown.
JAP #1: Oh really? Where?
JAP #2: 52nd street.
–Starbucks
Fabulous woman: That’s all vodka under the bridge.
–55 Bar
Overheard by: Girl Margaret
Huge man to small child trying to participate in conversation: No, son, we’re not talking about your school–we’re talking about Bam! You trying to get all up in the Kool-Aid, but you don’t even know the flavor.
–C Train
Drunk girl, accidentally taking swig of vodka instead of water: This wetness is spicy!
–Bergen St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Gnomies
Skinny teen: I wish they made diet water.
–Times Square
JAP: I’d like a Pellegrino.
–Hooters
Middle-aged suit yelling into cell: No- I want to see you drink the bong water!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Me Too…
20-something JAP, checking out 20-something guy walking past: Hey, how are you?
20-something guy waves: Married…
JAP’s friend: Ew, who gets married?
–21st & Van Alst
Overheard by: Kire
Teenage JAP #1: Oh, mother of God! Your kids are driving me insane!
Teenage JAP #2: There is no mother of God, you idiot.
–Jerusalem 2 Pizza, Ave J
Overheard by: Frombklyn
Long Island JAP: Long Island should totally become the sixth borough of New York.
Queer: Fuck no! The MTA doesn’t go there, and we all know that if the MTA doesn’t go there, neither should you.
Asian guy: What about Staten Island?
–47th & Broadway
Overheard by: Samantha Jones
JAP getting off at Berkeley Heights: I was getting anxious about getting anxious! It was like I had anxiety about getting anxiety! What? No, the pills aren’t for that. Shut up, Mom! I’ll call you later.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: embarrassed to live in jersey
JAP on cell: You know, it just goes to show you how sensitive we’ve become in this country to sexual misconduct and sexual… Sexual… What’s the word? Being sued.
–116th & Broadway
JAP on cell: … And then I totally just, like, bought it at Bergdorf’s… No, no! Not Bloomingdale’s — Bergdorf’s! You know, as in Bergdorf Cohen’s?
–serendipipty
Blonde JAP: Like, this is totally tighter than my colonoscopy. Ugh!
–Crowded A train
JAP on cell: Oh, that guy? I think he lost interest in me. One day I said something about how all the girls on the Upper East Side look the same and are totally boring, and he said, ‘But yeah! That’s you, too!’
–83rd & 3rd
Overheard by: A&M
Thug: Damn, girl! What, you got some Irish blood in you?
Girl: Um, no…
Thug: Then what kind you got?
Girl: I’m Jewish.
Thug: Them Jews got it goin’ on!
–14th & 9th
JAP mom, looking at diorama of Neanderthals: Amanda was taking pictures of them before…
JAP daughter: It must be her goal weight.
–Museum of Natural History
JAP with Barneys bag: … So she borrowed five dollars and still hasn’t paid me back yet. Like, what the fuck?
Friend: Shhh… Your Jew is showing.
–1 train
Overheard by: crazian
JAP #1: Is he a Juddhist?
JAP #2: A what?
JAP #1: You know, a Jew Buddhist.
JAP #2: Oh, yeah, totally.
–7 train
Overheard by: Ein Berliner
