JAP #1: Well, how do you know he’s cheating on you with that [lowers voice to loud whisper] Puerto Rican girl?
JAP #2: God, I don’t for sure know, alright?! Maybe because his dick smells like a Taco Bell, okay?!
–6 train
Overheard by: Maria
JAP #1: Well, how do you know he’s cheating on you with that [lowers voice to loud whisper] Puerto Rican girl?
JAP #2: God, I don’t for sure know, alright?! Maybe because his dick smells like a Taco Bell, okay?!
–6 train
Overheard by: Maria
Creepy dad, cheerfully, to seven-year-old daughter: There's only one Lindsay Lohan!
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Jewish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done people tell me I look like Amy Winehouse?
–116th St & Broadway
Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in particular: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!
–N6 Bus
Overheard by: looks like paris hilton?
Larger reporter: I'm not going to save clothes that fit me before I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I'm going to buy some new damn clothes. I don't want to wear stuff from 1987. I'll look stupid, I'll look like Mischa Barton.
–Midtown Office
Overheard by: you wont be mischa's size
Hipster girl to friend: I mean, I really like him… But he thinks River Phoenix is a place.
–East Village
Girl #1: I really like matzoh bread.
Girl #2: Yeah, my friend makes it really amazing because she fries it in butter and sugar. It’s so good.
Girl #1: Wait, is that allowed? I thought matzoh was supposed to be about suffering.
–Lafayette Street Residence
JAP #1: It’s like, I can’t dance on the bar and dress slutty anymore. It’s just not appropriate.
JAP #2: You did it in college all the time.
JAP #1: But college is different! College is like being in Vegas…
JAP #2: Yeah, for four years!
–Columbus Circle
JAP #1: So, Brian was flirting with me all day yesterday.
JAP #2: Oh my god, he sooo wants to get in your pants. Or, in your case, leggings.
–Soho
JAP girl on line: Why would I be boogieing at temple?
–H&M
Overheard by: Sandjiggie
Redhead JAP: It's too bright, I can't hear you…
–41st & 3rd
JAP: Is saving the whales still, like, a thing?
–F Train
20-something JAP on cell: I mean: I don't want to say that I live in a bubble, but the only people I've spoken to in the last week and a half are you and my doorman.
–42nd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Pete
JAP: Can you believe it’s snowing upstate? It’s crazy.
Hispanic delivery man: Yeah.
JAP: Can you believe that that Yankee died? It’s crazy.
Hispanic delivery man: Yeah.
–Empire State Building
JAP: I like, didn’t even know I had a middle name until my bat-mitzvah.
–53rd & 8th
Overheard by: Phil
JAP #1: Isn’t The Pursuit of Happyness an action movie? Because he needs money–
JAP #2: –Not all black people need to shoot people for money.
–Lehman College cafeteria
Overheard by: can’t breathe
JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war.
–Therapy Store
Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars.
–31St & Ditmars, Astoria
Overheard by: Randi and Patrick
(at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton!
–Midtown
Overheard by: Oh the irony
50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Ksenia
Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war!
–7 Train
