Little boy to sister: What's the perimeter of a rectangle?
Sister: Big foot!!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Little boy to sister: What's the perimeter of a rectangle?
Sister: Big foot!!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Black dude: When I was a kid, I use to fake choke, so my mom would give me the Heimlich maneuver, whenever I wanted a hug. (pause) You know, one of those “just because” hugs.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Mike D
Horribly dressed woman at kebab stand, holding her wallet: So, you wanna see my kids or what?!
–28th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Ren
Cosmetology teacher: We do not do sterilization in this class. That is what they do in a medical lavatory.
–Cosmetology Class, Astoria
Overheard by: Kelsey
Fat black teen shoving past white couple: I like how they ain't know how a say "excuse me."
–Wilson ave, Bushwick
Xerox repairman on cell: Yo, you sound like John Lecoozigamo! He's a comedian. Le-cooz-I-ga-mo.
–132nd St & Cypress
Overheard by: office drone
Middle-aged mother with thick Staten Island accent on cell: Ronny, where are you?! We are standing outside and we are freezing the children!
–New York City Transit Museum, Brooklyn
Indignant thug to thugette: I told her we wasn't together. How did she know I'm with you? Did you tell her differentwise?
–Q20 Bus
Overheard by: Liza
Irritated tourist mother to baffled seven-year-old daughter: Your father is such a fuckin' dickwad! And let me tell you–he wasn't even inspired the night we made you.
–Times Square
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Guy on cell: I haven't talked to my dad in over three years, and this morning he friended me on Facebook.
–1st Ave & 89th Street
Overheard by: Citats
Guy on cell: Well, I wouldn't say I have the best relationship with my father, no. Umm… Well, for example, if he answers the phone when I call the house he says "Oh. Hey, failure."
–Union Square
Overheard by: Olivia
Woman on cell to friend: Uh-huh girl, I brought William to his donors' house and he didn't want to watch him. I said "William, William, say goodbye to your donor because he don't wanna watch you today."
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Upper East Side girl at brunch with girlfriends: I need to find a new apartment because when I do the walk of shame I keep running into my dad.
–80th St & 2nd Ave
Little white boy, running down street: Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Black female nanny, pushing stroller behind little boy: Run to the bus! Run! Run!
White man in suit, trotting a couple paces behind black woman: Aaaaaaaaaaah!
–8th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: amused tourist
Little girl: Mom, it's okay, I'll be fine.
Mom: Are you sure, sweetie? You know you always call me and tell me how much you miss me when I'm away.
Little girl: Yeah, mom, but I miss you at home.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Brok
Old man to kid with musical instrument case: Gotta big case there.
Kid: Yep, I need it for school.
Old man: Is that a shotgun?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Knively
Young gay: It's gay upon gay in that establishment, but not one person's dancing!
–Boiler Room, E 4th & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: That's because it's the Boiler Room
Mother to five-year-old son looking at Rockettes signage: Well, for one thing, you have to be a girl. And you also have to really long legs.
–Outside Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: Bryan
Girl: Woah, there's no one in the dance studio. That's so ironic!
–Beacon School
20-something girl: Well, the way he was dancing, I couldn't not take his wallet!
–1st Ave & 12th St
Overheard by: rachel
