Kids

Wednesday Conga Liners

Young gay: It's gay upon gay in that establishment, but not one person's dancing!

–Boiler Room, E 4th & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: That's because it's the Boiler Room

Mother to five-year-old son looking at Rockettes signage: Well, for one thing, you have to be a girl. And you also have to really long legs.

–Outside Radio City Music Hall

Overheard by: Bryan

Girl: Woah, there's no one in the dance studio. That's so ironic!

–Beacon School

20-something girl: Well, the way he was dancing, I couldn't not take his wallet!

–1st Ave & 12th St

Overheard by: rachel

A Premium Cut Of Grade-A Wednesday One-Liner

Girl to boyfriend, after taking deep breath: Can you smell that? It's like the ghost of meats past!

–10th Ave, Meatpacking District

Suit: Turkey-bacon? How did you guys get them in one meat?

–Grand Central Place

Young lady to another: And then we were all treated to sausages…

–E. Houston & Bowery

Overheard by: Luke McPartlin

Five-year-old boy to bewildered mother: We're gonna go work for a giant meatball!

–86th St & Lexington

Distraught-looking white woman to boyfriend: I just wish I'd gotten the more expensive steak. (boyfriend nods sympathetically)

–Upper East Side

… Without Wheels

Little boy to mother: Mom, can I have a motorcycle? I'll take really good care of it!
Mother to son: My son, you will never have a motorcycle. It's dangerous… Mommy will buy you a BMW.

–Brooklyn

He Was More Into Strutting and Fretting

Father: Yeah, Shakespeare didn't write too many kids' plays.
Small child: Why?
Father: Um, it just wasn't his thing.

–Central Park

And Those Who Prey on Them

Mother to young son: So we will get off at Port Authority.
Son: What's that?
Mother: A place with very busy people.

–42nd & 9th

Overheard by: Raj S

Story Of My Life.

Tall Mexican woman: Hey, whatever happened to that little boy?
Nonchalant short Asian woman: Well, they found his head but not his body.
Tall Mexican woman, rolling eyes: Figures.

–C Train

No Gang Colors in Rite Aid, Ma'am

Little girl: Oh! Nail art, can I have it?
Mom: No, I got a problem with you today.
(little girl sulks)
Mom: I don't care if you think it's an accident: when someone hits you, you hit them back and ask questions later! When you learn this then I will buy you those nails!

–Rite Aid, Brooklyn

Overheard by: kay arrgh

…Y'know, the Land Down Under?

Little boy to self: China, China, China, vagina, China.
Sister: Mommmmm! Frank said “vagina”!
Mom: Frank!
Little boy: Nuh-uh. I was saying “China.” Mom, I was saying “China”! Really, mom! “Va-China.”

–Union Square

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

…Now How About Some Ice Cream and a Foot Rub?

Little boy: My stomach hurts!
Teacher: How does it hurt? What does it feel like?
Little boy: It's… Almost like how it feels being pregnant.

–Public School, The Bronx

Can You Hold It 'til Brooklyn, Honey?

Little girl to dad: Daddy, I want to sit down.
Dad: Why don't you sit on the floor?
Little girl: No. I want a seat. I want a nice clean seat… so I can fart on it.

–F Train

Overheard by: waiting for weird smell on F train

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