Small girl: Good people don't give up.
Small boy: Jesus did.
–A Train
Overheard by: sodidbush
Small girl: Good people don't give up.
Small boy: Jesus did.
–A Train
Overheard by: sodidbush
Girl #1: I believe in evolution and God.
Boy: What? That’s stupid. You believe that if a monkey walked into a forest he’d walk out as a human?
Girl #2: She doesn’t believe that, idiot. The monkey would have to stay in that forest for, like, 50 years for that to work!
–Elizabeth & Hester St
Six-year-old black girl: Want a cookie?
White woman: No, thanks.
Six-year-old black girl: But they taste like black people and white people! See the chocolate? That’s the black people. See the white cookie? That’s the white people. Yum!
–Times Square
Tall thug to another: Yo,… I love jail food!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Never had it
Dad to overly excited daughter: Yes, you can tell your mom you went in the bouncy castle in front of the prison.
–Atlantic & Smith
Screaming four-year-old to mom: Are you going to put me in jail?
–Q Train
Young mother to baby, pinching his cheeks: Daddy's in prison! Prisonprisonprisonprisonprison!
–Jackson Heights, Queens
Overheard by: Giving up all hope Newsbunny
Mom: Nigga, you can have it when you got your own money!
12-year-old son: What you talkin’ about?! That ain’t your money. You bought that shit with food stamps.
Mom: Then you can have it when you get your own food stamps, Nigga!
–117th & Manhattan Ave
Mother to noisy, restless son: You know what? As soon as we get home I’m calling your doctor. You’re going back on medication.
Kid, screaming: Nooo! [Spotting boarding passenger] Oh, he has a wrestling shirt! I want a wresting shirt!
–M101 bus
Overheard by: Glad it’s not my kid
Tourist dad: Who’s that over there?
Tourist mom: That’s Yasser Arafat.
Tourist dad: Yasser Arafat? He sure is fat.
Tourist daughter: Kind of looks like Dad the time he put that towel over his head.
–Madame Tussaud’s, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Celeste Pietrusza
Husky unshaved guy to younger girlfriend: You mean you never saw Animal House? You're not human!
–Lower West Side
Thug to another: Jabba the Hutt? That's like some Tony Soprano shit, nigga. And the spices? That's drugs. Star Wars drugs!
–13th St & University
Overheard by: Jaimie
Girl to friends: My English teacher said Precious is "whack."
–City Cinemas, E 86th St
Stuffy Bulgarian professor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It's very funny, right?
–NYU
Overheard by: really glad I got up before 9:30 for this
Girl on cell: Yeah, after that movie, I'm gonna think all adopted kids are evil dwarfs with a hormone imbalance.
–Columbus Circle
Adopted boy on PlayStation to gay father: Why can't we just get on this next bus?
Gay father: Noah, I told you, this bus doesn't go to where we want to go. Do you want to go stay at someone else's house? (under his breath) I'd like to send you to someone else's house…
Adopted boy: Ugh, well, how long do we have to wait?
Gay father: Until the next bus! C'mon, let's go wait in Hooters.
–Hampton Jitney, Queens
Overheard by: sarah
Hipster on cell: Dude, yeah, coffee gives me the shits too; but I'd rather have the shits than no coffee.
–Dunkin' Donuts
Overheard by: Madalyn
Poet, selling self-published book on train: We're like Starbucks coffee and biscotti; you're tall and hot and I'm hard and nutty.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Marc
Little girl to mother: It's like every single person in the whole wide world came to Starbucks and we were the veeeerrrrryyy last ones.
–Starbucks
Colonel Sanders-looking man, in strong Southern accent: I want somethin cold… Whadya git?
–Starbucks
