Teen boy #1: Man, I don’t know what I would do…Three billion dollars is a lot of green, yo. What would you guys do?
Teen boy #2: Yo, I’d get me one of them golden showers, son.
Teen boy #1: Dude, that’s when someone pees on you.
–E train
Teen boy #1: Man, I don’t know what I would do…Three billion dollars is a lot of green, yo. What would you guys do?
Teen boy #2: Yo, I’d get me one of them golden showers, son.
Teen boy #1: Dude, that’s when someone pees on you.
–E train
Guy: That’s why people like me: for my vagina-cleansing properties.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Thiess
Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Marc Mitchell
Guy: That seems like a weird match to me.
Girl: Well, I guess they have a lot in common.
Guy: Like what?
Girl: Like they both like to eat snot.
Guy: Huh? Like, snot snot?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: They both like to eat snot?
Girl: Yes.
Guy: Wow…Well, good for them.
–Nederlander Theater, West 41st Street
Overheard by: Allyson H.
Doorman #1: You know what I get to do with her? Besides cuddle, I mean. You know what I do?
Doorman #2: What?
Doorman #1: I get to expose my penis to her.
–43rd & 5th
Guy: Um, are you disappointed that I don’t have tits?
Girl: I mean, a little.
Guy: Why? You looking to suckle?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Guy: If you could marry Dave Matthews right now, would you?
Girl: Yeah, I would; I would piss on his face!
Guy: What?
Girl: Yeah, I heard he likes that.
–John & Gold
Overheard by: Jon Margolis
Guy #1: Tell em’ what I did.
Guy #2: Pissed on her.
Guy #1: I pissed on her face while she was sleeping!
–Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Kate C.
Girl: So wait, is skullfucking only in the eye?
–13th & 5th
Overheard by: The King Adrock
