Girl on cell: I feel so dirty…He rubbed oil all over my body. He’s short, but he has blue eyes…so hot…I’d let him crawl all over me!
–Hoboken PATH
Old blind woman singing for money in the train: I’ll rub hot oil all over your body … and God bless the child, that’s got his own, that’s got his own.
–F train downtown
Hobo lady: I been pussy fucked; I been ass fucked; I been titty fucked–and that was fun–but there ain’t no love like the love of Jesus.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Ben Beckley
Girl #1: I sucked his balls for part of the time he shaved me. I don’t know what possessed me to tell you that.
Girl #2: Possibly because you’re you? And I’m me?
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Guy #1: Yeah, she wouldn’t shut up so I peed on her.
Guy #2: Just what I would have done, bro.
–Central Park
Boy #1: That bitch kind of looks like her dog.
Boy #2: Yeah, but she’s busted.
Boy #1: Word, I’d definitely pipe the dog before I piped her.
Boy #2: What the fuck?
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Overheard by: sarahh
Bagboy: What’s with all the bruises?
Cashier girl: My boyfriend likes to bite.
Bagboy: What? You dating vampires now but you still won’t go out with Tommy?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: next in line
Guy #1: You are such a nerd.
Guy #2: You mean because I’m on my laptop during sex?
Guy #1: What?
–42nd & 8th
WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint.
–A train
Overheard by: Lia
Woman: So they’re paying the kidnappers child support? I mean I know they want to support their child, but where is the money going? To those crazy people.
–L train
Overheard by: Kelly Marie
Teen girl: God, you are so self-conscious sometimes I want to punch you in the face.
–A train
Overheard by: Niki
Tween boy: Would you like to buy some candy?
Woman #1: No.
Woman #2: No thanks.
Tween boy: Okay, how about a threesome?
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: rhett
