Teen girl #1: The only time I ever gave head I was really drunk. I just remember when he started cumming, I jumped up and screamed “Ew, gross!”
Teen girl #2: Ha, ha, ha. Who was it?
Teen girl #1: Well, that’s why I think third base is disgusting. I just skip over it.
Teen girl #2: Who was it?
Teen girl #1: In conclusion, don’t go to third base. Ever.
Teen girl #2: Alright.
–MoMA
Coworker chick #1: Do you guys remember [Becky Thatcher]?
Coworker girl crowd: Yes!
Coworker chick #1: Well, I waited on her once!
Coworker chick #2: Yo, did you ask her why she burned down that float?
–84th & 3rd
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja
Man on cell: Good morning! How are you?
Man: Tell me the bad news…
Man: No, really… Tell me the bad news
Man: You’re PREGNANT? How did that happen?
Man: I know how it happened…but I mean…I thought you were on the pill!
Man: Well, what are we going to do about this? [pause] I can’t have a kid with you. [pause] I’M MARRIED!
–47th & Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Cynthia Frawley
Queer: Today Daisy totally showed me her vagina!
Girl: She shows everyone her vagina.
–3rd & 6th
Overheard by: zin
Hobo: You have a quarter for a cup of coffee?
Suit: Excuse me, can’t you see I’m on the phone?
Hobo: I don’t have time for games!
–42nd & 7th
Teen boy #1: I make the best scrambled eggs!
Teen boy #2: Nah son, I make the best eggs.
Teen boy #1: Ok, but when you eat my eggs… mmm… it’s like eating pussy.
Teen boy #2: Whoa! You crossed the line there.
–97th & Central Park W
Overheard by: SEK
Guy #1: I think you just stepped in pee, there.
Guy #2: Ew.
Guy #1: I think it was human.
Guy #2: Ew. It was kind of greenish.
Guy #1: Maybe it was antifreeze. Don’t lick your shoe or anything. Not that you should if it was pee, I mean.
–26th & 2nd
Woman #1: My principal says you can get French lessons as an iPod.
Woman #2: An “iPod”?
Woman #1: Yeah…they’re about 15 minutes long, they come on your computer, and they’re free.
Woman #2: Hmm.
Woman #1: Wait, I mean a podcast.
Woman #2: “Podcast”? Sounds like it comes from aliens.
–Patisserie Claude, West 4th Street
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Guy: What flavor should I get?
Drunk girl: I’d get butter pecan but I’m lactose intolerant and it’d make me shit like a champ.
–Bodega, Houston & 6th
Drunk chick: Why am I so drunk?!
Cabbie: Because you drink a lot!
–10th Ave
Overheard by: i don’t drink a lot
