Water connoisseur: So, how did things go last night with… Ugh… What’s her name? Kate?
Friend: Seriously, dude, it was going so well, but then she did something really f-ing nasty.
Water connoisseur: Whaaa?
Friend: Dude, she put an unfiltered ice cube in my Brita water. She totally tainted the water. Dude, that’s just gross.
Water connoisseur: How do you know she didn’t filter the cubes?
Friend: Dude, you just can’t risk something like that…
–N train
Overheard by: Mikeyy
Boy: I was trying to tackle him, I just couldn’t get my– I just couldn’t get my hands around him. I just couldn’t squeeze his legs together… just couldn’t… I just couldn’t get my hands around. Oh! And there’s this kid, and we call him ‘Transfatty‘ because you don’t know whether he’s a boy or a girl, and he’s like, a fat kid and that’s why we made up this nickname for him — Transfatty!
Soccer dad: You don’t really call him that, do you?
–Elevator, 92nd & 3rd
Black guy: Yo, you know what ‘FUBU’ stand for?
Black girl: Yeah, ‘For Us, by Us.’
Black guy: Naw, it stand for ‘Farmers Used to Beat Us.’
Black girl: It does not! It’s ‘For Us, by Us’!
Black guy: That’s what they want you to think. Everybody knows it’s ‘Farmers Used to Beat Us.’
Black girl: There ain’t no ‘T’ in ‘FUBU’!
Black guy: That don’t matter.
Black girl: You ign’ant, nigga!
–Midtown
Overheard by: Greg Reeves
Teen girl #1: So wait, what does ‘DUMBO’ stand for?
Teen girl #2: Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass.
Teen girl #1: Oooh, so then that area by the Brooklyn Bridge is ‘BUMBO,’ right?
–Grimaldi’s, DUMBO
Overheard by: michael Ciancio
Guy #1: Why is it even called ‘Fear Factor‘? It has nothing to do with fear… It’s just gross.
Guy #2: Yeah, really. It should be called ‘Gross-out Factor.’
Guy #1: Think about it. It’s not like people are scared of eating… like… intestines. It’s just gross. People aren’t like, ‘Ahhh, intestines!’
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s not like I wake up in a cold sweat to intestines…
–R train
Rich woman #1: Sodomized? Sodomy?
Rich woman #2: Dahmer. That’s who you’re thinking of. Jeffrey Dahmer.
–6 train, 23rd St
Preppy boy #1: You went to her Sweet 16, and you didn’t know how to spell her name?!
Preppy boy #2: So what? What was the name of that bitch you fucked last night?
Preppy boy #1: Um, I don’t know… But it’s completely different! Totally different situation.
–Track 130, Grand Central
Overheard by: TheSlyVegan
White mom calling seven-year-old girl: Isis, come back over here! Don’t wander off – stay where I can see you!
Black man: Woman, you name me ‘Isis,’ and I wander as far away from you as I can get. I don’t blame that girl. Isis! What kind of name is that for a little white girl? Damn! Now I know white people crazy.
–Central Park
Girl: Hew-ston, we have a problem.
Mom: How-ston, honey. Houston, we have a problem.
–NY Animal Control Center
Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?
–4 train
Overheard by: Gregorio
Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?
–D train, Grand Concourse
Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?
–Manhattan-bound F train
Overheard by: Josh
Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?
–Game Stop, Forest Hills
Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Andrew K.
