Male European tourist: Excuse me, where can we find the subway?
New Yorker: Which subway do you want?
Female European tourist: The one that is on this corner.
–Broadway & Houston
Male European tourist: Excuse me, where can we find the subway?
New Yorker: Which subway do you want?
Female European tourist: The one that is on this corner.
–Broadway & Houston
Black teen hipster #1: Why are there so many white people on the 2 train this late at night?
Black teen hipster #2: Please. All these white people are getting off at 96th Street.
Train stops at 96th. The white people leave the train.
Black Teen Hipster #2: Watch ’em all scamper away!
–2 train
Tourist boyfriend: What’s Avenue Q?
Tourist girlfriend: Well, in New York City there’s a place called Alphabet City, and that’s where they have Avenues A through Z.
–Dylan Prime, Tribeca
Overheard by: rebecca marie
Headline by: Jessica Bessica
Runners-Up:
· “And Spamalot Is This City in England.” – SAtCW
· “It’s Basically a Concentration Camp for Puppets” – Mikey G.
· “It’s Right Next to Some Giant Apple” – Kelsey
· “No Tourist Left Behind” – sara
· “Ok, Can You Take Your Hand Out Of My Ass Now?” – sherman
Teenage girl #1: And she was trying to convince me that Florida is north of New York!
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, some people are so stupid! North of us is like… Delaware!
–Hudson & Gansevoort
Overheard by: Laura
Bimbette #1: God, people in Midtown are sooo ugly.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I know.
Bimbette #1: It’s probably because, like, 85 percent are tourists.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god, I know! Tourists are so ugly.
–Times Square
Teen girl #1: What is the Bronx short for?
Teen girl #2: It’s not short for anything, it’s just the Bronx.
Teen girl #1: Oh, I thought it was short for Brooklyn.
Teen girl #2: Wow.
–6 train
Overheard by: Jen
Bank teller: What state was your account opened in?
Customer: Brooklyn.
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: Captain Finance
Girl #1: Ever notice how tightly girls hold onto their boyfriends when they are walking through Chelsea?
Girl #2: Right? It’s like they’re afraid he’s going to run out into traffic and get hit by a truck.
–17th & 8th
Guy: How do you get to Astor Place?
Old man: You go up 2 blocks, make a left, then go fuck yourself.
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: andy
British bitch on cell: I’m surrounded by fucking morons who probably struggled through the NYC school system. We all know New Yorkers are the dumbest. They can’t even read. They haven’t had a Latin education and they probably can’t even speak another language…I didn’t want to get a limo to take to the fuckin’ ghettos of Brooklyn. I didn’t want to take a cab because these uneducated people don’t understand directions. I didn’t want to spend $30 and not get to the right place…Please make sure my car gets fixed. I’ve been reduced to the humiliation of taking public transportation. Now the second part of my fucking nightmare begins. I have to take the subway! I’m dressed like a commoner. I didn’t want to wear a $5000 Chanel suit on a seat that hasn’t been cleaned…She’s letting us borrow her castle for our wedding. If they can’t afford to be there, they obviously don’t deserve to come.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Christine
