Glue sniffer #1: You wanna hear something fucked up?
Glue sniffer #2: Yeah.
Glue sniffer #1: Do you wanna know how she died? She tripped over her dog.
–F Train
Overheard by: 310 retuns to 212
Glue sniffer #1: You wanna hear something fucked up?
Glue sniffer #2: Yeah.
Glue sniffer #1: Do you wanna know how she died? She tripped over her dog.
–F Train
Overheard by: 310 retuns to 212
Conductor, as train finally leaves the station after long delay: Listen people, do not hold the doors open! I'm going to send y'all to your room!
–2 Train
Train conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. Attention everyone, the doors are stuck and will not be closing anytime soon. Please stand clear of the closing doors.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Conductor: Sir, please remove your head from the closing doors!
–Downtown B Train
Train conductor: Please do not hold the train doors open. I will stop this train and make everyone get off if you keep holding the doors. Then the other passengers will be very mad at you. If you really want to hold the doors open, get a job with the MTA, and then you can hold them open until the cows come home.
–E Train
Overheard by: Ally
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please wait for the doors to completely close before leaning on them. Please do not lean on the doors.
–N Train
Overheard by: erkala
Conductor: This is the 7 train. Get ready to jump off. Easy on, easy off. No one's been holding any doors. Good job, people!
–7 Train
Overheard by: Jeff L.
Drunk guy: I summon all the single ladies to my personal sleeping quarters. Somebody come up here and kiss me! I'm an outstanding kisser and an excellent swing dancer! Girls, boys, hermaphrodites, I don't care!
Drunk guy's friend: If you think this is bad, you should've seen him at the Billy Joel concert… He peed on my foot.
Drunk guy: Only because you were wearing sandals!
–Citi Field Stadium
Guy dressed only in tighty whiteys to bartender: I know I'm only wearing underwear, but can you please turn up the air conditioning?
Bartender: Yeah.
Guy dressed only in tighty whiteys: I'm speaking on behalf of several people. Well, other people who might come in here in their underwear.
–The Ritz, Hell's Kitchen
Guy, jockeying for position on overcrowded train: Well, I guess I owe you dinner now.
Girl: That's it?.
–F Train
Chinese girl: Come with me to Ikea on Saturday?
Italian guy: Get a boyfriend!
–Wall St.
Girl to guy: Are you drunk yet?
Guy: No.
Girl: Well, hurry up and get drunk so you can take advantage of me and my friends!
–Columbia University
Co-ed: Excuse me, would you mind moving over so my friend and I can sit together?
Guy in Yankees cap: I ain't moving. You can find somewhere else to sit.
Bystander: Whoa, dude, the girl just wants to sit with her friend. Why are you being rude to her?
Guy in Yankees cap: It's my seat. I don't want to move. It's my right.
Bystander: I thought you were a Yankees fan.
Guy in Yankees cap: End of discussion.
Bystander: I thought you were a Yankees fan. You're a Yankees fan and you treat ladies like that?
Guy in Yankees cap: I ain't moving. End of discussion.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Barista: What would you like?
Woman: You know what? I think I'm going to go get a smoothie instead. (leaves and crosses the street to go to Jamba Juice)
–Starbucks
Short girl, trying to reach a shelf: John*, I need your height.
John*: I'm 6'2″.
–112th St & Central Park West
