Old lady #1: Oh, how awful! You cut your dog’s ears. How horrible! How’d you like to have your ears trimmed?
Old lady #2: I would.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Robert Hall
Old lady #1: Oh, how awful! You cut your dog’s ears. How horrible! How’d you like to have your ears trimmed?
Old lady #2: I would.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Robert Hall
Chick #1: So I need to get me a Bible.
Chick #2: Why? Aren’t you atheist?
Chick #1: They say Bible paper makes good rolling paper for your joints.
Chick #2: Really?
Old lady: You two are disgusting.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Glynnis O
Grandma: Who is that? What’s the commotion about?
Teen girl: It’s Paris Hilton.
Grandma: Who is that?
Teen girl: She’s a media blowjob, Nana. Let’s get a move on, we’re
late and Daddy’s waiting for us at the hotel.
–41st & 6th
Overheard by: Brian Otano
Old woman: Did you hear what I said? Did you hear me?
Old man: I heard you, woman. But I can’t hear you now!
–116th & Lenox
Guy on cell: I don’t think it’s time yet to do the professional intervention thing. I mean if she drops down below 90, then maybe it’s time. But I’d like to her get down to 95, then she would be hot. As long as she doesn’t lose those 5 in her tits. Shit, she has nice tits.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Guy: You know, for a hundred dollars, you can get that old mink stole
made into a teddy bear!
–M104 bus
Overheard by: Ron Caldwell
Jamaican woman: Oh mahn, I used to get so high and den turn on dat Spanish channel so loud and just sit in front of it and listen.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Future NYer
Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Marc Mitchell
Teen girl: I would like to. Notwithstanding, I–
Old lady: Never say “notwithstanding” in New York. Too long a word for here.
Teen girl: Why the heck…?
Old lady: Notwithstanding and two financial empires have already
collapsed! Where are you from, by the way?
Teen girl: Missoula, Montana.
Old lady: You’re making my point, darling!…So, Redford says “notwithstanding”? No kidding?
Teen girl: Robert lives in Utah.
–Trump Tower elevator, 56th & 5th
Overheard by: Bertrand Latour
Queer: You know who I feel really bad for? Really ugly people.
–Mug’z Sports Bar, Belmont
