Hipster boy: We used to be together, but it just didn’t work out.
Hipster girl: It wasn’t because of her eating out America?
–1 train
Overheard by: Shannon O’Toole
Hipster boy: We used to be together, but it just didn’t work out.
Hipster girl: It wasn’t because of her eating out America?
–1 train
Overheard by: Shannon O’Toole
Curly-haired chick: Your condom consumption should not intimidate people.
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Woman: He bought a car? With seven grand you buy condoms… or a house. But a car?
–6 train
Overheard by: Sabrina
Girl on cell: So I’m just at the pharmacy picking up a prescription… [Lowers voice] You know, my pills… What? My pills! You know, those pills I take so that I don’t get pregnant when your dumb ass busts inside me!
–Duane Reade, 34th & Park
Overheard by: Laughing my dumb ass off
Perky girl to friend: Yeah, and then he said, ‘What the heck?’ and flung the condom across the room.
–Astor Pl
20-ish chick: The ribs do nothing for me, but I buy ‘Her pleasure’ condoms for political reasons.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Young girl, panicky: Do you know where I can find the morning-after pill?!
–CVS
Gentleman, innocently conversing with woman: He's a tall guy, what did she expect?
Out-of-control hobo sitting next to couple: Fuck that! Tall people are pizzas. Tall people are pizzas!
–A Train
Overheard by: Katie Arvidson
Teacher: Settle down! You three are always running around like you’re in a parade or something!
Goofus: Mister, you’re your own gay pride parade.
–R train
Girl: But what if he doesn’t want to have sex with me?
Male friend: Oh, please. Banging exes is like the number two national pastime to baseball.
–6 train
Small giggly daughter: Daddy, do lions drink soda?
Father: Yes.
Small giggly daughter: Daddy, lions don't drink soda!
Father: No, they don't. Soda's bad for you…don't you know that, sweetie?
–D Train
Overheard by: Caitlin
Headline by: Emily Leonard
Runners-Up:
· “Children Get Confused When Their Daddies Are Always Lion” – Matt Wozniski
· “Fanta Bad…Antelope Good” – Edmond “The Lurch” Kida
· “Here, Hold on to Daddy’s Cigarettes Like a Good Little Girl” – Katoe
· “Mastering Her Psychic Powers, Little Susie Soon Ruled the World” – Nick Pollotta
· “Nick Pollotta’s Got This Rigged” – psh
· “There Goes the Narnia Product Placement Deal” – Baby
· “This Would Be Funny If He Didn’t Have Alzheimer’s” – Muse on the Loose
Thug, talking about fanny pack: What is that? Your change purse?
Thugette: Nigga, that's my insulin!
–1 Train
Hobo #1: What’s my name, man? What’s my name?
Hobo #2: Shit…I know yo’ name…
Hobo #1: What’s my name? Yo’ name is Joe Smith. See, you don’t even know my name!
Hobo #2: I know yo’ name…but you gotta tell me yo’ name first.
Hobo #1: We in Heaven right now…if you see me, you not gonna know my name!
Hobo #2: Shit, we in Heaven right now? That’s fucked up!
Hobo #1: I told you my name like a hundred times. I’m Larry. What’s my name?
Hobo #2: You ain’t told me yet!
Hobo #1: All right…we in kindergarten now. What’s my name?
Hobo #2: Heaven. Man, that’s messed up.
Hobo #1: Man, I love you.
–A train
Overheard by: Mikey
Tourist lady, very slowly: Uhhh, can you… Um, excuse me, can you… um, tell me where… that place downtown… I think it’s, ummm…
Lady suit, interrupting: Christ on a crutch! What are you, Canadian or retarded?!
–4 train, Wall St station
Overheard by: Not Canadian
Hipster boy: He’s such a fucking loser — he just has to admit it. I mean, I’m a loser, and I’m fine with it.
Hipster girl #1: Yeah, it sucks to be a loser and not be cool with him.
Hipster girl #2: I never leave the house anymore.
Hipster boy: Me neither. Last week I bought an antennae for my TV, and sweatpants and weed. I only left the house today because I ran out of milk.
Hipster girl #1: Awesome.
–A train
