UES bimbo #1: I need to use a different bronzer, I'm like orange.
UES bimbo #2: Oh my god!
UES bimbo #1: Oh my god!
–R Train
UES bimbo #1: I need to use a different bronzer, I'm like orange.
UES bimbo #2: Oh my god!
UES bimbo #1: Oh my god!
–R Train
Woman: Hey, so have you ever tried crack?
–78th & Madison
Overheard by: Andrew C
Middle aged black lady, giving subway directions: So what are you trying to get to on 42nd Street?
Group of teen girls: Home.
Lady: Homos?
Girls: Home!
Lady: Oh, I thought you said homos, I was gonna tell you to send them to church!
–Uptown F train
Man singing in soulful, beautiful voice: Uptown, nigggah! Uptown niggaaah! Uptown nigga. Uptown niggggah!
Man on other side of the subway, moments later: We going downtown, nigggah!
–F Train
Overheard by: Jay Bee
White guy: Nigga, please.
White girl: That’s not okay. Don’t say that.
White guy: Nigga, thank you?
–L train
Overheard by: Alison F
Yuppie girl: So yeah, I heard he was on that pill that makes you horny.
Yuppie guy: Allegra?
Yuppie girl: No, dumbass, that’s the one that prostitutes take.
–S train
Overheard by: Glynnis
Dude looking at girl shoes: If I were a chick I'd wear the ugliest shoes, I swear.
–5th Ave
Woman on phone call with son's teacher: I know he's in the big boy group, but if you see he put his shoes on the wrong feet again, could you just let him know, please?
–57th St & Madison
Four-year-old girl: My toes are in my shoes!
–Bus
Overheard by: vcstr
Girl, with pride: I can't get laid in this town without these pointy fucking shoes. My feet are so black and blue, and so are you!
–F Train
Overheard by: Ofelia Hiney
Gay guy to friend: Oh, c'mon, at its best, The Wizard of Oz is just a story about two women fighting over a pair of shoes.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Paul N.
20-something college student: I saw the movie Australia the other day, and I couldn't understand anything because they all had English accents.
–2 Train
Indian woman with accent, recalling story to husband: So I called up customer service, and right away the woman said "Oh, priti, you must be Indian". I said "No, I am not." I was like "What? Are you kidding me? I call customer service and they put me through to India? Then she said "Have you ever been to India?", I was like "No, I have not, is it nice?"
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Marie Z.
10-year-old girl, emoting mockingly for her minder: And I can see *Russia* from my *house*!
–74th & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Woman on cell: It's okay, I've got a plan. We'll move to Mexico, buy a lemonade stand by buying parts from a guy called Javier, earn some money, then smuggle ourselves and our belongings over the border to America, where no one will know what happened.
–5th Ave
30-something to friend: Apparently all of England's problems can't be solved by strangling an old guy!
–Roosevelt Island
Older brother teaching the finer points of comic books: Yeah, Batman’s really cool. Best thing about him — he doesn’t have superpowers, so he’s really an ordinary guy.
Younger brother: Wow, no superpowers?
Older brother: Well, apart from being super rich.
–F train to Queens
Mom: Don’t ever disrespect your mother! You can always disrespect your father. All what your father did was to shoot the sperm. Your mother is the one who brought you out to this world. No matter what happens, don’t ever disrespect your mother!
–D Train
