Mom: Don’t ever disrespect your mother! You can always disrespect your father. All what your father did was to shoot the sperm. Your mother is the one who brought you out to this world. No matter what happens, don’t ever disrespect your mother!
–D Train
Father: Do you know how to say “river” in Spanish?
Daughter: Uhhhhh…
Father: It's “rio”
Daughter: Rio… Dia-rio!
–F Train
Subway hipster #1: I'm totally straight edge now.
Subway hipster #2: Dude, you have sex for money, that is not straight edge.
–5 Train
Overheard by: isonomist
Guy with thick accent: Where you get off to the Walton Center?
NY chick: The what?
Guy with thick accent: The Walton Center.
NY chick: Do you know what street it's on?
Guy with thick accent: No, no. You know, the Walton Center.
NY chick: I'm sorry, I don't know where that is.
Guy with thick accent: The Walton Center! The buildings, they fall, they fall!
NY chick: You mean the World Trade Center?
Guy with thick accent: Yes!
NY chick: Fulton Street and fuck you.
–Uptown 5 Train
Scraggly teen boy: Are you still a vegan?
Scraggly teen girl: Yeah, I’m still a vegan, except I ate a cinnamon roll today. But, you know, it happens.
–1/9 train
Overheard by: Amanda Nazario
Guy (kissing his girl's neck, begging): C'mon baby, please?
Girl: I said “No.”
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Because it gets too messy. I mean, I already have to keep washing all the pillows you cum on. Imagine the mess if I'm on the rag.
–R Train
Overheard by: Kim
Chonga #1: I never said I was goin out wit him, we just went places together. I wouldn't say I was goin out wit a married man…
Chonga #2: Mmmm-hmmm.
Chonga #1: At least I not da only ho!
–J Train
Drunk dude: Where are you from?
Chick: Pittsburgh.
Drunk dude: Oh, no kidding! [Points to his friend] He’s from Minnesota, too!
Friend: No, actually, I’m from Texas.
Drunk dude: Whatever — that’s still close to Minnesota, isn’t it? Or Michigan or whatever.
Chick: … Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania…
–1 train
Overheard by: Chiara
HS girl #1: So exactly how many states are there?
HS girl #2: 52.
HS girl #3: I thought there were only 50.
HS girl #2: That’s because they never count Haiti and Cuba.
–F train
Overheard by: Ting
Homeless man: Can anyone spare some change for a homeless man? Can anyone spare a penny, nickel, or dime? Penny, nickel, or dime?
Subway doors close.
Homeless man: Oh, shit, wait, I got to get off this train! Get out of my way!
Subway rider: You’re not going to get much with that sales pitch.
–N train, Queensborough Plaza
Overheard by: Josh Shurtleff
