…To Fuck the Statuary!

Crazy old hobo, holding up bags and drawing: Where's the moon? Where's the moon? If the earth is in Columbus Circle, then the moon would be on 64th and Central Park West! Come see my exhibition!
Hipster teen surrounded by giggling friends: Is your exhibition inside those bags?
Crazy old hobo: No, those are Michelle Obama's dresses. You want to be smart with me? Why don't you be smart and become an exhibitionist?
Hipster teen surrounded by giggling friends: Do you know what “exhibitionist” means?
Crazy old hobo: Of course! It's someone who goes to museums every day!

–1 Train

Posted on January 12, 2015
About Celebrities, Clothing, Crazies, Friends, Global Geography, Hipsters, Hobos, Old People, On the Subway, Questions, Teens, Visual Art, Weirdness, Words

…For Valium.

Teen #1: Aaww, don't worry…
Teen #2: Be happy?
Teen #1: Yeah!
Teen #2: Where did that start anyway?
Teen #3: Some old commercial.

–Q Train

Overheard by: A bit saddened

Posted on January 11, 2015
Happiness, On the Subway, Questions, Teens, TV

Carry On, Then

Boyfriend: Don't do that. Hey, you just sexually abused me!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but you liked it.

–L Train

Overheard by: Kait

Posted on January 11, 2015
Body Parts, Couples, On the Subway, Sex, Talking/Convos

“…So I Can Go Into Clown Porn!”

Guy #1: Yeah, I was at the national unicycling convention.
Guy #2: It's sad that you couldn't put your skills to use… You could be a stuntman, or a sex slave. But no! You said, “Daddy, I want a unicycle!”

–F Train

Posted on January 11, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Default, Guys, Insults, On the Subway, Sports, Weirdness

It’s a Whole Different Story in the Supermodel Car

Four-year-old boy: Mommy, why don’t nobody look at each other on the train?
Mother: ‘Cause they ugly.

–G train

Posted on January 11, 2015
Beauty, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Questions

“Um…yeah.”

Little boy: Why do I have to pee in a cup?
Mom: For a test.
Little boy: For a test? Do I have to drink it?

–A train

Posted on January 8, 2015
On the Subway, Parents, Poop, Should've Used a Condom

Then You Should Say “Caboose”

Thugette #1: You can take that shit and shove it up your fucking rear end.
Thugette #2: “Rear end”? Why don’t you say “ass”, motherfucker? “Ass”!
Thugette #1: We’re on a fucking train!

–A train

Posted on January 8, 2015
Ass, Etiquette, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Thugs

Conduct Yourself with Some Wednesday One-liners

Conductor: Next stop, the street formerly known as Prince Street.

–R train

Overheard by: Rachel Kolb

Posted on January 8, 2015
About Celebrities, Names, NYC Geography, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Subway conductors

“…on television, I mean.”

Girl #1: He did what you told him to do?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: So you stabbed him?
Girl #2: With scissors.
Girl #1: You can’t do that!

–G train

Posted on January 7, 2015
Girls, On the Subway, Stab

‘Hey, Dad,’ I Said

Girl #1: You know how I knew I was back home? I saw a Duane Reade.
Girl #2: Yeah, they don’t have those out there.
Girl #1: No, actually, you know how I knew I was home? I saw a crackhead on my block jerking off as he was walking. Then, I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m home.’

–6 train near 23rd St

Overheard by: Kathy

Posted on January 7, 2015
Druggies, Drugs, Duane Reade, Hard Drugs, Masturbation, On the Subway, Only in New York

On the Subway