Hobo: Hey, excuse me, excuse me…Excuse me. I just want to tell you that you are a beautiful girl. Really, no, really, you beautiful. You should go to Hollywood. You stay beautiful, girl, and remember you will always be beautiful…Just don’t get fat.
Girl: Well that’s the most honest compliment I’ve ever gotten.
–F train
Overheard by: kdice
Guy #1: You’re useless…you keep getting dysentery.
Guy #2: Maybe you’re just a lousy trail leader.
Girl: At least he doesn’t drown every time we cross a river.
Guy #1: Hey, you caulk the wagon, you take some chances.
–79th Street 1 station
Guy: I mean, eating your own cum is one thing, but eating it on a pizza four hours later? I should probably keep my voice down…
–43rd & 8th
Man, to old woman pouring paint thinner into the sewer: You know, you’ll kill the alligators like that.
–39th & Lex
Methodone lover: I told him, “If you do that again, I’m gonna sic the alligators on you!”
–Whitehall Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: Steven Lowell
Tourist, kneeling in front of a giant stone head: Help me, Olmec! Where is the shrine of the silver monkey?
–Museum of Natural History
Chelsea boy: Yeah…My God, the boys there were so hot! Their asses were all tight and round…Mmm…like a Chihuahua’s.
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: CocteauBoy
5-Year-Old boy, passing the smelly horse carriages on Central Park South: Eww, are there camels around here?
–59th between Broadway & 7th
Overheard by: Carmiya Weinraub
Old man, passing bear sculpture: Bears eat too much.
–American Wing Cafe, the Met
Overheard by: guingel
MTA hardhat: Yeah, for lunch I’ll have either the rat on a stick or the pigeon on a stick.
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Brewster
Guy on cell: I just saw a pigeon, and it reminded me of you.
–Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Jon A.
Commuter: Oh, I’ve always been into manatees.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jon
Woman, to child: That’s why imagination is really nice. You can imagine that cat you have always wanted, and it’s almost like having him for real…even though you never will.
–53rd & Broadway
Animal lover: I never used to like cats. But then I had this dream where this cat, like, told me, “I love you,” so I got a cat.
–10th St & 1st Ave
Bus rider: My son’s frog jumped up there, and now I can’t take a poop.
–Q101 bus
Overheard by: Kaleena
Suit: No, no, it’s a woman with a donkey, not two donkeys! Jesus.
–14th St 1 station
Non-Ghetto woman on cell: That’s nigga’s crazier than a road lizard!
–59th & 7th
Picky girl: You won’t believe the pick up line he used. He actually said, “I want to be your beast.”
–The Strand, Broadway
Overheard by: Miss Parker
Girl #1: Look at those characters over there.
Girl #2: They’re Hasidic Jews.
–A train
Overheard by: ham
Young woman #1: So, my niece just gave him a blowjob… I’m so thankful.
Young woman #2: I know, right?
–A train, W 4th St
Overheard by: Paco
Teen girl: So how big are you?
Teen guy: Oh, I’m 5’6″ or 5’7″.
–F train
Overheard by: Jessica S
Guy that just missed the subway: Shit, shit, shit, fuck, shit…
French tourist, looking at guy: Merde.
Guy: Thank you!
–N Train Station
Tattooed young mother: So when we get home we could take pictures of the cat.
Four-year old: We could take pictures of the cat's penis, you told me cats have penises!
Tattooed young mother (hushing child): Why are you so fascinated by that?
Four-year old: I like penises!
Tattooed young mother: Don't say that, you can't say things like that!
–F Train
Overheard by: wow.
Four-year-old boy: Daddy, why is there no express service today?
Father: Because the government invests all their money in war and killing people and doesn't wanna invest in public transportation!
Four-year-old boy: Oh. That's so unfair!
–6 Train
