Little Asian boy: Mommy, is it true that the world is run by giants who plug it in and make it spin?
Mom: Where did you hear that?
Little Asian boy: I made it up.
–N train
Overheard by: Harmony
Little Asian boy: Mommy, is it true that the world is run by giants who plug it in and make it spin?
Mom: Where did you hear that?
Little Asian boy: I made it up.
–N train
Overheard by: Harmony
Black guy: …And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
White guy: Are you trying to mug me or what?
–7 train, 74th St Roosevelt
Sorority girl: I’m in three exclusive relationships right now.
–uptown 1 train
Overheard by: molz
Conductor over loudspeaker: Oh you think you’re pretty bad by not giving up your spot.
Long pause.
Conductor over loudspeaker: Don’t go pretending that you can’t hear me now!
–N train
Overheard by: Gregorio
Man carrying camera and subway map: Do you think we look like tourists?
Woman carrying huge fanny packs, dead serious: No, I think we look okay.
–N Train
Old bag lady: …but once they stick the epidural in, they can just reach in and pull it out like that!
The very pregnant teenager sitting next to her did not respond…
–R train
Teen ghetto girl #1: But you’re 15! That’s 5 years. You’d be like a pedophile.
Teen ghetto girl #2: It’s not like I’m looking for a relationship. I just wanna bone.
Teen ghetto girl #1: I need to bring you to church. You need every kind of religion there is.
–1 train
Overheard by: inge
Girlfriend: Why are you banging your head on the pole?
Boyfriend: I’m making my head stronger.
Girlfriend: You don’t make it stronger that way, you just hurt yourself.
Boyfriend: It does both.
–Crowded E train
Overheard by: Laurie
Ice queen: She a ho. She be, like, talkin’ to mad guys and whatever, and she had sex with all six of those brothers.
Sensible girl, after long pause: Who are you to be calling anyone a ho?
–A train, Jay St
Woman on cell, wearing fuchsia catsuit and clutching stuffed parrot: I’m on the corner of Broadway and 69th in a ridiculous outfit.
–69th & Broadway
Buff guy: You know what they used to call me in jail? “Harry the Robe,” because I wore this beautiful white robe after I took showers.
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: gina
Girl on cell: I swear, if I have my underwear on inside out today I am just going to snap.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Amused listener
Preppy guy: Is there a philosopher named Kenneth Cole? Because there is this huge billboard with his quote on it.
–Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Rivington between Norfolk & Essex
Guy in black cape and Batman-type mask: No one ever fucks with me when I go out at night rocking this outfit.
–Franklin & Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Overheard by: lil pirate
Girl: Do they even have Prada in Boston? They just have baked beans and Benjamin Franklin, and he’s dead.
–Stanton & Orchard
Girl, walking behind another girl who’s wearing a pink tutu, white stockings, and a tiara: Let her walk alone wearing this on her birthday.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Not Wearing a Tutu
