And Tragically Bitchy.

Balding chubby man #1: Yeah, man, marriage is rough. I mean, you need to find someone who can bring something to the table.
Balding chubby man #2: Yeah…what do you mean?
Balding chubby man #1: I mean, when you hit 30 and are looking to settle down, you need to find someone who has something to offer, cause if she doesn't have something to offer, then you are in trouble.
Balding chubby man #2: Okay.
Balding chubby man #1: I mean, look at Paul McCartney, he married that lady, and they were together, what, five years? She brought nothing to the table. Then they divorced and she got 60 million dollars. Just like that!
Balding chubby man #2: Yeah, that's a lot of money.
Balding chubby man #1: I know! But I shouldn't talk bad about her…you know, cause she's crippled.

–N Train

Posted on January 27, 2015
About Celebrities, Advice, Age/Aging, Marriage, Men, Money & Class, On the Subway, Questions

…Menswear

Lady on platform: Is there any way to squeeze further?
Man on train: Yeah, second floor.

–L Train

Overheard by: Douglas Allen

Posted on January 26, 2015
Directions, On the Subway, Passengers, Public Transportation, Questions, Sex

Deleted Scenes for the DVD

Drunk guy: King Kong ain’t got nothing on God almighty!
Sober girl: Stop touching me, you dirty old man.
Drunk guy: I ain’t touching you, woman.
Sober girl: I don’t do trash.
Drunk guy: That’s why I wanchu.

–Q train

Overheard by: Ted Danger, esq.

Posted on January 25, 2015
Creepsters, Drunks, God, Movies, On the Subway, Pickiness

Unfortunately Your Idiocy Has Been Immortalized

Brooklyn chick #1: He’s totally self-destructive.
Brooklyn chick #2: Yeah, I know, but so am I, just in a different way, ya know? I’m only self destructive to me, not to other people… wait, forget that I just said that.

–F train

Overheard by: Natalie P.

Posted on January 25, 2015
Girls, On the Subway, Relationships, Violence

F–king with the Imports (NYC Short Stories)

Tourist lady: Does this A train go to Jamaica?
NY chick: The A train doesn’t go to Jamaica.
Tourist lady: Is this the A train?
NY chick: Yes.
Tourist lady: And it goes to Jamaica?
NY chick: The A train does not go to Jamaica.
Tourist lady: But I need the A train.
NY chick: This is it.
Tourist lady: I need the A train to Jamaica.
NY chick: The A train does not…Oh forget it. This is your train, lady, get on!

–Times Square station

Overheard by: Cat

Tourist guy: Do you live here?…Excuse me, do you live here?
Black woman: Yeah, what do you want?
Tourist guy: Is this the 6 train?
Black woman: Yeah, sure.
Tourist guy: So it will take me to Grand Central?
Black woman: Yeah, no doubt…But it’s weekend, so you never know where the train is going to take you.

–Q train

Overheard by: Josh

Posted on January 24, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Black People, Directions, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, Queens, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Times Square, Tourists, Women

The Bitch is From the Dad’s Side, Oddly

Chick: You think I won’t step up and kick some nigga’s ass just because I’m a bitch? I’m bisexual. Yeah, I’m bisexual: I’m half bitch, half nigga.

–Q train

Overheard by: Reb Stu

Posted on January 24, 2015
Assholes, Dating, Farting & Burping, Girls, On the Subway, Race, Weirdness, Words

Parts Of Wednesday One-Liners Are Really Quite Nice

Irate professional woman on cell: I raced down to Penn Station to buy a ticket to New Jersey, and now you tell me you're going to Hooters?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Erin and Willa

Blonde hipster: I knew I needed to get out of there when I heard her saying, "we should go to that bar next because it's near the PATH!"

–Rivington & Essex

Train conductor: The next stop is Park Place. Transfer is available to the a, c, e and PATH to Newwwwwwwwwww Jersey. I also have wonderful news that I am dying to tell you today. All 2 and 3 trains are making local stops this weekend. There are no express trains because of service changes.

–2 Train

Girl, interrupting singing couple: Guys, we need to class it up, we are not in Jersey anymore!

–5th Ave & 86th

Overheard by: GerMan in NY

Four-year-old boy: I don't wanna go to New Jersey!

–New Jersey Transit Terminal, Penn Station

Hipster: But you were in New Jersey when you got pregnant, it's okay.

–1st & St. Mark's

Posted on January 24, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Conductors, Couples, Directions, Food, Girls, Hipsters, Kids, Lower East Side, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Penn Station, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Public Transportation, Questions, Street, Train Station, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Mostly I Just Massage Her Feet

Queer #1: It is so difficult for me to explain… like, it really hurts to be treated that way, and sometimes I just need to stop and focus on the pain and learn why it bothers me so much.
Queer #2: Why don’t you talk to your therapist about it?
Queer #1: She won’t let me talk about that stuff.

–1 train

Overheard by: Brina Guild

Posted on January 24, 2015
Advice, On the Subway, People, Places, Psychology, Queer guys, Queers, Topics

They Call Their Planet “Dirt“?

Man: Where are you from?
Boy: (silence)
Man: If someone asks you that, you say you are from Earth.
Boy: Earth.
Man: And then if someone asks you where on Earth, you say, “a continent.”

–1 Train

Overheard by: fayfayryryr2h

Posted on January 23, 2015
Boys, Global Geography, Men, On the Subway, Weirdness

This Is Not the New York Of Gossip Girl

Girl, as subway doors open: It smells like ass.
Guy: It's New York City, were you expecting sunshine and rainbows?

–Uptown F Train

Posted on January 22, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Wishes & desires

On the Subway