Teen #1: Aaww, don't worry…
Teen #2: Be happy?
Teen #1: Yeah!
Teen #2: Where did that start anyway?
Teen #3: Some old commercial.
–Q Train
Overheard by: A bit saddened
Teen #1: Aaww, don't worry…
Teen #2: Be happy?
Teen #1: Yeah!
Teen #2: Where did that start anyway?
Teen #3: Some old commercial.
–Q Train
Overheard by: A bit saddened
Boyfriend: Don't do that. Hey, you just sexually abused me!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but you liked it.
–L Train
Overheard by: Kait
Guy #1: Yeah, I was at the national unicycling convention.
Guy #2: It's sad that you couldn't put your skills to use… You could be a stuntman, or a sex slave. But no! You said, “Daddy, I want a unicycle!”
–F Train
Four-year-old boy: Mommy, why don’t nobody look at each other on the train?
Mother: ‘Cause they ugly.
–G train
Little boy: Why do I have to pee in a cup?
Mom: For a test.
Little boy: For a test? Do I have to drink it?
–A train
Thugette #1: You can take that shit and shove it up your fucking rear end.
Thugette #2: “Rear end”? Why don’t you say “ass”, motherfucker? “Ass”!
Thugette #1: We’re on a fucking train!
–A train
Conductor: Next stop, the street formerly known as Prince Street.
–R train
Overheard by: Rachel Kolb
Girl #1: He did what you told him to do?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: So you stabbed him?
Girl #2: With scissors.
Girl #1: You can’t do that!
–G train
Girl #1: You know how I knew I was back home? I saw a Duane Reade.
Girl #2: Yeah, they don’t have those out there.
Girl #1: No, actually, you know how I knew I was home? I saw a crackhead on my block jerking off as he was walking. Then, I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m home.’
–6 train near 23rd St
Overheard by: Kathy
Daughter: Mommy, I think I can spell “funky.” F-u-c-k-y.
Dad: No, that's… that's a bad word.
Mom: No, honey, funky is spelled f-u-n-c-k-y.
–7 Train