Drunk guy on subway, trying to whisper: Um…for future reference, don't use that French accent next time we fuck.
Loud drunk girl, breaking into hysterical laughter: Ha! And then you're going to tell me not to fart on your balls!
–B Train
Overheard by: Glad I missed that party
Preppy girl: I wonder why celebrities do so many drugs.
Queen: Honey, you can only buy so much couture.
–F Train
Chick: I wanna get me one of those, like, silent dogs?
Guy: It'll probably be a sneaky dog.
–1 Train
Overheard by: de kraai
Middle-aged girl #1: Yes, she was sincerely apologetic for the things that she’d done, and she really took responsibility for them.
Middle-aged girl #2: She must have a new therapist.
(both nod sagely)
–1 Train
Overheard by: Suze V
Train conductor: (mumbling)
British suit: So you understood what he just said?
New Yorker: Of course.
British suit: Well, what did he say?
New Yorker: He said, “Shut the fuck up, you fucking foreigner, you're on a train and you'll be home soon.”
–1 Train
Overheard by: KeivonK
Chris Noth: I talked to her for 10 minutes and figured out she was crazy.
–15th & Irving
Overheard by: Ameha Beyene
Young man: You're fat because you need to release. Look at me, that's why I'm slim and sexy. I beat off every day.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Salesgirl to salesgirl friend: I wanna thank you for taking the time to repeatedly hit me in my arm fat and make it jiggle.
–Henri Bendel
Overheard by: Stephan Dion
Professor to class of girls: You guys are all thin (looks around classroom and notices there are some fat girls) …mostly.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Suit to another: All I'm trying to say is, she's not tall enough for her weight.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: ednapontellier
Black girl: Fat people can do splits because they have no bones.
–Pizza Place, St. Mark's Place
Five-year-old to very overweight man while waiting for Thanksgiving Day parade: Are you one of the balloons?
–Broadway & 50th St
Overheard by: Peter
Woman from #1 couple: Well after the wedding, they had an orgy. We were invited but chose not to attend.
Man from #2 couple: Well, had we been invited, we absolutely would have attended.
–2 Train
Teen #1: What do you think is like the best sports movie ever?
Teen #2: I think The Green Mile.
Teen #3: That ain’t no sports movie, man!
Teen #2: He was runnin’!
Teen #1: I like Rudy.
Teen #2: Naw man, Rudy was a fuckin’ benchwarmer.
Teen #3: Naw, Rudy is all about how the little guy can persevere.
Teen #1: I cried at Rudy.
Teen #3, touching his heart: Yeah, man, Rudy hurts.
–A Train
Overheard by: Brenda
Asian girl: I should totally be on that white rapper show on TV.
White girl, sincerely: Oh, yeah! Just, like… change your skin!
–R train
Overheard by: Dani
