Four-year-old girl to sister: You're hitting me with your violin case!
Upper West Side mom: Anne, sometimes you have to endure a little bit of pain on the subway.
–1 Train
Four-year-old girl to sister: You're hitting me with your violin case!
Upper West Side mom: Anne, sometimes you have to endure a little bit of pain on the subway.
–1 Train
Man: I need the number for an ear doctor.
Woman: An ENT?
Man: Yeah, an ENT.
Woman: Why? What happened?
Man: In '86, I got hit in the head with brass knuckles.
–6 Train
Guy: I’m going to Chicago this weekend.
Girl: Jealous.
Guy: Want me to bring you back a hot dog?
Girl: Minus the dog.
Guy: Polish sausage?
Girl: Vegetarian.
Guy: Sausage pizza? Italian sausage? Sausage smoothie?
Girl: Totally.
Guy: Why doesn’t someone open a sausage smoothie store in Chicago? They’d be a millionaire.
–F train
Hobo: I was an extra in the movie [inaudible] Times Square, man! Did you see it? I was the one down on my knees screaming, ‘I’m a born-again porno addict!’
–N train
Man on cell: Yo, dude, I don’t know what to get! They got all kinds of shit in there!
–Outside adult video store, 14th & 6th
Overheard by: Sarah
Hot chick on cell: Why are you so stressed?! This sounds like a good thing! Don’t be so serious about it! It’ll be okay! Here, did you know there’s an animal rights group called ‘Porn Stars for Pups’?
–The Black Sheep
Overheard by: Argopelter
Guy on cell, pushing by couple with baby in stroller: I’m not going to California! I pay her twelve hundred dollars per hour. If she doesn’t sleep with Niko, then fire her! I lost a hundred thirty-eight fucking grand yesterday! Tell her what to do, and deal with it!
–Horatio & Hudson
Overheard by: Stephen Lindsay
Angry girl to friend: Seriously, Chris, can’t we go one day without talking about shizer porn?!
–East Village
Teen boy: I don’t see how a gay boy’s booty just expands like that.
Queer bystander: Actually, it doesn’t expand — it rips.
Teen boy: Oh, thanks. I needed that.
–G train
Overheard by:
Bimbette #1: The weather has been crazy.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I thought we were having global warming yesterday.
–1 train
Male suit: So, you’re a literary agent? That’s so cool. How’s it going?
Lady suit: I just sold my first book! And the movie rights were optioned the same day!
Male suit: Totally exciting. What’s the book about?
Lady suit: Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t actually read it.
Male suit: That’s cool. I didn’t really read much until I started college.
–A train
Overheard by: Max Perkins Is Rolling in His Grave
Long Island girl: 42nd St is where there is lots of prostitution, right?
Female friend: What?
Long Island girl: Yeah, I thought I heard that 42nd St was where all the prostitutes were?
Female friend: Ummm…that's like Times Square. It's a major touristy spot.
Male friend: Maybe there's an occasional strip club?
Long Island girl: Oh my god, I really want to go to a strip club–I've never been to one before!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Amused
Headline by: 1310 (formerly SNA)
Runners-Up:
· “As the Economic Crisis Worsens, Margie Becomes Increasingly Desperate for a Job.” – Carla
· “I Thought Mass Tourism WAS Whoring Yourself Out ?” – Cass
· “If Parents Don’t Have the Sex Industry Talk, Someone Else Will” – space coyote
· “Long Islanders and Tourists Have Become One.” – Fresca
· “That’s How They Get New Recruits” – Skwerl!
Conductor, over speaker: Grand Avenue-Newtown will be next, stand clear of the closing doors…
Lady on train: Wait, what'd he say?
Conductor, over speaker: Wait, what'd he say?
–R Train
Overheard by: Kevin
Six-year-old boy with SpongeBob toyboy: SpongeBob.
Nanny: SpongeBob?! You ain’t bringin SpongeBob in my house! What is it, anyway? A slice o’ cheese?
–L train, Bedford
Overheard by: jake
