Middle-aged Latino woman to younger black woman: Listen, I got rights, ok? I mean I’ll do the time for it, I don’t care. On this train you gotta give people respect, ’cause everyone’s a person. You give ’em respect, then you punch ’em.
–M train
Twentysomething girl on cell: Because I beat the crap out of him, that’s why I got fired.
–Continental Ave & Austin St, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Sean Finnerty
Nerdy high school girl: I got a B+ on my freaking Holocaust essay. How gay is that?
–Q17 bus, Flushing
Overheard by: Lisa Berlin
Queerspotter: He’s so far inside the closet, he’s in Narnia.
–11th between 1st and A
Overheard by: Vinny C.
Drag queen: There are only two lesbian bars in New York, and that is because there are only five lesbians who tip.
–xl, 16th & 9th
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Skinny white teenage boy, pointing to a T-shirt that says New York Fucking City: Yo mom. I want this shirt in the biggest size they have.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Allisa
Mom on cell with son: Listen, you get home now, you only thirteen and you be fuckin’ all them bitches.
–Herald Square
Guy on cell: No! For the last time, you gotta set it on fire after you put it on his doorstep. [To friend] God, fucking kids these days.
–22nd & 6th
Teen: What’s the big difference between this and the Holocaust Museum?
–Darwin Exhibit, Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Doug Gordon
Guy: And he just kept talking about masturbating in the Guggenheim.
–2nd Ave, between 4th & 5th
Overheard by: Bradford
MoMA security guard: No, we just have modern art here.
–MoMA
Overheard by: -=Ed.
Woman sitting on bench with small dog on lap: You know that no matter what you do, I will always love you, right?
–1st & 87th
Girl on cell: No, I haven’t had a chance to blow him off yet.
–6th & 53rd
Tween to her mom: Oh look, it’s those shoes you can eat! Wait, can you eat them? Oh, no, these aren’t the edible ones.
–Payless, Upper West Side
Overheard by: embarrassed to have been in payless
Conductor: Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be moving shortly. There is a police investigation taking place on this train. Have a nice day.
–F train
Overheard by: scittle
Girl: I mean, I never want to get married. Like… never. But I really want babies. So I guess I’m just going to have a bastard.
–Marquet Cafe, 15 East 12th St
Overheard by: Grace
Little boy: You be the president, and I’ll be the terrorist.
–Queens Blvd & 63rd St
Overheard by: Nina
