Man: When I told her I worked for the State of New York she seemed to
lose interest.
–F train
Man: When I told her I worked for the State of New York she seemed to
lose interest.
–F train
Chick: Every time Todd talks to a girl he thinks he’s on a date.
–9th Street between 1st & 2nd
Queer: Hey, the red is looking really good on you. That’s gonna be the next color of my living room walls, like God had a nosebleed!
–Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Queer: You know who I feel really bad for? Really ugly people.
–Mug’z Sports Bar, Belmont
Teen girl: Now what she needs is a razor dildo.
–93rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Alissa R.
Daily News guy: Osama Bin Laden in New York! Let’s get him! Saddam Hussein has escaped!
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Marlon Disla
Old lady: Where’s the yellow incense for the dead people?
–Titan Foods, LIC
Overheard by: Evan C. Kirchmer
Man: Yo, the other day I see the F arriving as I’m coming down the stairs so I run in, just making it in on time. I hold the door for this girl behind me but I slipped and her head got caught in the
closing door. She turned her head like The Exorcist and just looked at me for a second and then starting screaming. And then other people started screaming while I tried to open the doors again. The conductor finally opened up the doors and she stepped in…and stood right next to me…and stared at me until Roosevelt Island. I just got out there and waited for the next train.
–F train
Overheard by: Lee
Yale guy on cell: Oh, you’ll like this. So, I hooked up with this girl this weekend, and got a handjob from her…But, the thing is, she had one hand…No, she had an arm, just no hand. And she gave me a handjob. With the other one…I started laughing when she started giving me a handjob, because, well…Yeah. The irony of the whole thing…Yeah, but she was real hot…Huge boobs…I think I’m gonna try and hook up with her again and see if she’ll rub my balls…Yeah, man, with the other one…The other…Yeah.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: rDave
Vendor guy: I got so much dirt under my nails, you’d think I was a crackhead.
–Fulton Mall
Overheard by: Black Girl Superstar
