Dad: Do you think I want to talk about princesses 24 hours a day?
Little girl: No.
Dad: What do you think I want to talk about?
Little girl: Star Wars.
–Rector & Greenwich
Dad: Do you think I want to talk about princesses 24 hours a day?
Little girl: No.
Dad: What do you think I want to talk about?
Little girl: Star Wars.
–Rector & Greenwich
Little girl: Mommy, do you have veins in your head?
Mom: Of course you do. That’s how Grandma died; a big vein in her brain exploded.
–Starbucks, 54th & Broadway
Overheard by: Glynnis O
Mom: Did she tell you to pee in your pants?
Little girl: No.
Mom: Then she didn’t make you.
–Tompkins Square Park
Woman on cell: Hold on, I have to juggle, I’m pushing a stroller, walking the dog and holding a big bag of poop.
–189th & Broadway
Drunk girl: What kind of guys do you like?…What kind of guys do you like? I like guys with big tits.
–2nd Avenue & 11th Street
Overheard by: vegantoast
Construction guy: Well, she didn’t sound Chinese over the phone.
–Fulton & William
Mom: Do you know that she got into Brooklyn University? They must let everyone in there.
Dad: Brooklyn University?
Mom: Um, or maybe Long Island University? Or maybe Brooklyn University in Long Island?
–Shun Lee Cafe, West 65th Street
Dad: Do you know what a eunuch is?
Teen boy: Sure, it’s a place in Germany.
Dad: No, it is a man whose balls have been cut off.
Teen boy: In Germany?
–27th & 6th
Mother: Hmm…remind me to make a stop at The Home Depot on the way home. Your father said he needed a stripper to remove some paint.
–59th & Lexington
Guy #1: Yo man, he ain’t got no job and he don’t take care of his kids.
Guy #2: I know, but he’ll learn the hard way; we did.
Guy #1: He been to prison twice already; what else he got to learn?
–Penn Station
