The music stops.
Hoochie: What happened? I was totally channeling J. Lo! Ah, whatever. I do what I want.
–Delancey Lounge, LES
The music stops.
Hoochie: What happened? I was totally channeling J. Lo! Ah, whatever. I do what I want.
–Delancey Lounge, LES
Man: All I want is vaginal fluids. Been locked up for years upstate.
–Astor Place
Hipster dude: It smells like dirty vagina out here.
–Graham & Richardson, Williamsburg
Amateur gynecologist: I mean, when you think about it, he’s really just a big vagina with sand in it.
–93rd & 3rd
Frat guy: I don’t know, man…I just don’t trust her vagina.
–Outside Ray’s Pizza, Houston St
Overheard by: Becky
Chubby teen: I’ve never even touched a vagina!
–100th & Amsterdam
Worker: They had a bet on who ate the best pussy. They get on the stage and take turns going down on her.
–32nd & Madison
Woman, to store clerk: Excuse me, do you knows where the pussy products is?
–Duane Reade, 45th & 6th
Man: Jesus is coming, are you prepared?
Hipster guy: Well, he ain’t getting on this elevator!
Woman: Oh Jesus, who let this nut in the building?
–Elevator, 42nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Cirrus Monk
Chick #1: That one guy’s kinda cute, but I think he’s gay.
Chick #2: Yeah, but I don’t think he knows it yet. Go for it.
–Fat Black Pussy Cat, W. 3rd Street
Overheard by: Djlindee
White Guy: White people can’t dance.
White Girl: I’m white and I can dance.
White Guy: Yeah, but you have tits. Anyone with tits looks good when they dance.
–Happy Ending, Chinatown
Drunk guy: Here’s hoping you’re in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you’re dead.
Drunk girl: What’s that mean?
Drunk guy: It’s an Irish toast.
Drunk girl: Oh. Well, here’s to bread, eggs and cinnamon.
Drunk guy: Huh?
Drunk girl: That’s French toast.
–Stoned Crow, Washington Place
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Guy #1: I got a letter from Rosalyn & Jimmy Carter.
Guy #2: Oh really? How are they doing?
Guy #1: Good, they want money.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Carl
Scaffolding: [loud boom]Girl: Holy shit.
Construction worker #1: Hey, it’s OK, don’t worry.
Construction worker #2: Yeah, we have insurance!
–81st & 2nd
Overheard by: another girl about to walk under the death tr
Man, in Los Angeles: Cialdini’s Influence is the classic psychological book about how and why people are convinced.
Woman: Ah, I should read that so I can learn to convince myself of things.
Indian mom: Eat your chicken.
Drunk Irishman: Ach, what nice bebbies. I have a child too.
Indian mom: That’s nice.
Drunk Irishman: Just the one, though. The doctor told me wife, that’s it. No more chidren for you.
Indian mom: I see.
Little girl: Grandma, who is that man?
Indian mom: I’m your mother, not your grandmother.
Drunk Irishman: Her boss made her lift a 500 pound piano all by her self. A tiny woman! A 500 pound piano!
Indian mom: I see.
Drunk Irishman: So no more children. And me one of nine, you know. Including the one deadborn one.
–Wendy’s, Astoria
Overheard by: Loretta P.
