Chick: Where are we going?
Guy: The Junction.
Chick: Why are we going to the Junction?
Guy: Because you’re a loser. Because you question me.
–D Train
Chick: Where are we going?
Guy: The Junction.
Chick: Why are we going to the Junction?
Guy: Because you’re a loser. Because you question me.
–D Train
Hobo: Spare some change?…Why are you so selfish?
Man: Why are you so poor?
–West 4th Street & 6th Avenue
Overheard by: David B.
Girl: Well, I don’t know…She doesn’t look very much like a butterfly.
Guy: What, would you rather have her wear a t-shirt with a giant butterfly on it?
–Lincoln Center
Hobo: Can you spare any change?
Man: Sorry, no.
Hobo: Who the hell you saying no to? I wasn’t asking you anyway, asshole!
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: Leonor M.
Chick #1: I am so pathetic.
Chick #2: You are not pathetic! If you and I lived together and did nothing but eat chocolate, guacamole and chips and ice cream and play Nintendo, and we ended up weighing 500 pounds each, but having weirdly toned hands and forearms from the Nintendo playing, that would be pathetic.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Fat lady: Do you understand English?
Guy: I do and you sound like an asshole.
–7 train
Preppy guy #1: I hate geese shit on fields.
Preppy guy #2: It’s not so bad. It’s a good lubricant for when you slide-tackle people. You know, you just keep sliding…
Preppy guy #3: Dude, I can’t remember the last time I jerked off using geese shit. It can’t be that good a lubricant!
–Central Park
Man #1: If you could have sex with anyone, who would it be?
Man #2: Living or dead?
–F train
Overheard by: El Duderino
Girl: He gets it up, but he can’t keep it up. He doesn’t understand he’s dating a Puerto Rican, he needs to keep it hard.
Guy: He’s Irish. You have to understand he has to drink.
Girl: Actually when he drinks, it’s better. His sex drive improves.
–The Village Tavern, Bedford Street
Woman: I remember kindergarten. I got lots of candy and everyone wanted to play with me and I used to wet the bed a lot.
Man: You used to what?
Woman: I used to wet the bed. So they decided to move my bed farther away from the bathroom.
–Manhattan Diner, 77th & Broadway
