Guy #1: Jesus Christ! Michael Stipe has a big fucking head.
Guy #2: I was thinking about walking up and talking to him, for the simple reason that I haven’t liked him for so many years.
–The Walter Reade Theater, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: El Cubano
Freezing passerby: It’s so cold! I wish they sold hot chocolate out here.
Yo-yo purveyor: Yeah… You wanna buy a yo-yo? Ah, that shit won’t keep you warm.
–Rockefeller Center
Chick: Why did you move my beverage to the floor?
Woman #1: You’re not supposed to have drinks on the train. Especially not on the seats.
College chick: It’s not going to spill. Are you a cop?
Woman #1: No, I’m a taxpayer.
Chick: So am I. I have rights, too.
Woman #1: Yeah, I’m a cop.
Woman #2: Can you be a taxpayer and a cop?
–1 train
Cum slut: I thought the spermicide would take the sperm away. But it stayed in there and just got itchy. And burns.
–Ginger, Ave. A
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Young woman: You need to get a car so you can take my kitty cat to the vet.
–Starbucks, 71st & Broadway
Overheard by: Zvi Mowshowitz
Daughter: You’re always humming that McDonalds song.
Mother: Huh?
Daughter: You know…”da da da da da I’m loooovin’ it.”
Mother: No, honey. Goldfinger. *Ba ra ba rum*
Daughter: Oh.
–Central Park
Middle-aged man, into his cell phone: It’s an oneg-shabbat. It’s just a big dinner where everyone can meet each other and talk. It’s only a few hundred dollars for you to sponsor it. [pause] Well, it’s really not a dinner. It’s just some fruit and plates for people to pick at.
— Midtown
Guy: It seems like the first couple of seasons of the Sopranos were exciting, but the last few have been boring.
–D Train
Young Yuppie: You’re such a third-generation American Jew.
— 6th Avenue, West Village
Young Woman #1: I have to go to this “dungeon” for my Sexual Psychology class. Do you want to come?
Young Woman #2 in her mid-twenties: Is it like an S&M thing?
Young Woman #1: I don’t know. It’s like they act out different sexual
fantasies with whips and stuff.
Young Woman #2: OK, that sounds cool.
— Upper East Side
