Hipster: I went to a Polish beauty pageant last night in Brooklyn. It totally blew my brains apart.
–Williamsburg
Hipster: I went to a Polish beauty pageant last night in Brooklyn. It totally blew my brains apart.
–Williamsburg
A cashier hands a girl her change.
Girl: Excuse me, but can you give me another 20 dollar bill? This one looks counterfeit.
The cashier takes the bill, examines it, and puts it back in the register. He gives her another bill.
Girl: Thanks. I just didn’t want that one, you know? It didn’t have the stripe down it. It looked too new. It just didn’t look right. So don’t give it to me; just give it to the guy behind me or something.
–Bagel Maven, 7th Avenue
12 year old chick: You see? I told you! This is how the grown-ups dress.
–East Village
Puerto Rican Teenager #1 in Williamsburg: “Hey, calling someone else gay means that you’re gay!”
Puerto Rican Teenager #2: “Are you calling me gay? ARE YOU CALLING ME GAY? I’m not gay! Bring any woman out here right now, and I will fuck her in front of you all, in front of the world. Anyone. Do it, right now! I will show the whole world that I am not gay! Do you hear me? Do you hear me? I AM NOT GAY!”
Into an unplugged phone, a hobo yells: Honey, honey, I told you not to call me in the office!
–LES
Bimbo: So are you ever going to move back to Europe?
Eurotrash: I was thinking about that a couple of times when I was really, really depressed in LA. American culture is such a product of the country.
–Soho
Yuppie #1: I only went to Brazil for a month, but on my third day there I met her.
Yuppie #2: Women in South America are so hot. Especially Brazil and Spain.
–Belgian Beer Bar, Greenwich Village
Club Promoter: Do you guys like comedy shows?
Chicks: No!
Club Promoter: That wasn’t funny.
–34th & 7th
Man: 40 is the new 30; my teacher said that. She said 12 is the new 11. But she used to say 11 was the new 10.
–St. Mark’s Place
Drunk: You are here all the time! How are you here all the time? I come in at 2PM, you’re here. I come in at 5PM, you’re here. You are always here! When do you sleep?
Cashier: I am a twin.
–Park Slope bodega, 5AM
