Construction worker #1: Damn, look at that piece of ass!
Construction worker #2: Those are like National Geographic boobies!
–9th & Broadway
Overheard by: Joe
Construction worker #1: Damn, look at that piece of ass!
Construction worker #2: Those are like National Geographic boobies!
–9th & Broadway
Overheard by: Joe
Guy: Yo, Katie, why do you always gotta look at me like I just looked at your ass or somethin’?
Katie: Well, because most of the time you usually are!
–Cheap Shots, 1st Ave between 9th & St.Mark’s
Overheard by:
Little boy, to passerby: That’s why I ejaculated in your mom’s nose!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Chick: See, I don’t like the idea of drinking semen not directly from the cock.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
South Bronx gangster #1: Yo, damn, look at that Asian girl, son!
South Bronx gangster #2: You ever been with an Asian girl?
Gangster #1: Nah, son, you?
Gangster #2: Nah, yo, but I heard them pussies is sideways!
Gangster #1: What?! Sideways?!
Gangster #2: Yeah, son, sideways. They pussies is siiiideways!
Gangster #1: Shit, I gotta try and get with one now.
–the Bronx
Overheard by: Scullface
Girl on cell: Yeah, but I’ve gotta get out of these pants first. The crotch is wet and I don’t wanna get mad yeast.
— 85th & York
Overheard by: Ivan
Professor: You need to find your special place.
–Shepard Hall, City College
Girl on cell: You definitely could. You have a wider-set vagina than I do.
–65th Ave & Parsons Blvd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Pete
Old lady on cell: Did you remove the tick from the genital area?
–5th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Utah
Two 12 year olds knock into a business woman.
Woman: Don’t you say excuse me?
12 year old #1: Shut the fuck up, bitch, ’cause I got my balls in your mouth.
Woman: But… but…
12 year old #2: Aww, bitch, you better shut up, ’cause he’s got his balls in your mouth.
–uptown 4 train
Overheard by: DVI
Shrewd observer: Why does everything in this park look like genitalia?
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Rina
Drunk guy: What is this, some sort of sausage fest in here or something?
–The Park men’s room, 10th Avenue
Girl: I think its a complete failure as an expression of ideology, but it is aesthetically pleasing.
Guy: What, circumcision?
Girl: No, Futurism.
–MoMA
Overheard by: Ian W.
Girl: Well, as a lesbian, it’s not something I understand…
Guy: You mean, she’s a size queen?
Girl: I didn’t say that…but I don’t get it.
Guy: I don’t get it either. I mean, I’ve slammed into someone’s cervix, and it didn’t look like that was too fun for her.
Girl: Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about.
–Under The Volcano, East 36th Street
