Stereotypical jock, loudly: Man, I cant wait till we're back on dry land!
Scottish flight attendant: I can end that wait if you don't lower your voice.
–Flight Departing JFK
Stereotypical jock, loudly: Man, I cant wait till we're back on dry land!
Scottish flight attendant: I can end that wait if you don't lower your voice.
–Flight Departing JFK
Bus driver to deranged-looking smelly, yelling guy: Sir, this is your stop. Will you please leave the bus now.
Smelly guy: I pay taxes!
–M2 Bus
Overheard by: richardnixon
Fashionista: Y'know, it was just one of those restaurants that served bone marrow, because, like, they should be serving bone marrow.
–Allen & Delancy
Overheard by: wba2101
Jersey mom in purple jumpsuit: Ah, I love this part of New York. In one block you have an Olive Garden and a TGI Friday's.
–Times Square
Girl: Johnny Rockets my ass! If I wanted to go to the 1960s I'd use a fucking time machine!
–8th St & Greene
Drunk guy, wisely: No, people who eat on trains can't afford Chipotle!
–Uptown A Train
20-something guy to sobbing 20-something girl: It's okay, there's a Burger King right around here.
–4th St & Ave B
Little boy on subway: Are we there yet?
Dad: No.
Little boy on subway: Where are we going?
Dad: 1,932nd Street. It's in Maine.
–1 Train
Woman, gesturing angrily at new subway map: Did you see this? Look at this color! It looks like Kuwait! When I draw maps that's the color I use for desert wasteland!
Bystander: Well, it is Queens…
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Tourist girl: So how do you know which stop is which? Is this our stop?
Tourist boy: No, this is 50th, see? We're going to 81st.
Tourist girl: We'll be on here forever!
Tourist boy: It won't take long.
Tourist girl: So it stops at every street?
Tourist boy: What? No, it doesn't make a stop at every street. What would that…
Tourist girl, interrupting: It better not! Can I play a game?
Tourist boy: No, you can't. It's my phone. Maybe you should get one like it.
Tourist girl: Let me see it. What game is this?
Tourist boy: That's the map, remember? You said you didn't understand how to work it?
Tourist girl: Oh, yeah. Is this our stop?
Tourist boy: No, this is 59th St.
–Uptown B Train
Overheard by: Annearchist
Conductor: Due to track work we're skipping the next five stations. Next stop, Tremont Ave.
Guy on subway: What you talking about? Signs say we only skip 155. We should stop at Yankee Stadium next.
Conductor: Uh, anyone know what our next stop is? I guess we'll just go and see where our next stop is.
–D Train
Hot schoolgirl to plain friend: I think my boobs are getting bigger.
(every guy in the train looks)
Plain friend: Ummm, you said that a bit loud…
Hot schoolgirl: No, seriously, look! (cups boobs) They're bigger! They're like under my chin now. Every time I look down I get surprised, because they're just so there!
Plain friend, embarrassed: Please shut up until we're off this train.
Hot schoolgirl, looking up: Huh, what? I missed that, I was distracted by my boobs.
–1 Train
Girl in sweatpants: I kind of want someone to pants me. Just so that I can show off my ass without being a whore.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Fabulous gay man to another: Ohmigod! I'm totally having a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment right now."
–9th Ave & 47th St
Teenage boy, screaming: I can't wait to get my pants off!
–Broadway & 52nd St
Man to seven-year-old daughter: Hold onto the rail so you don't fall. Cause if you do fall, we're all going to laugh. We're going to laugh really hard. We're going to laugh so hard we will shit our pants.
–N Train
20-something well-dressed girl to another: He comes home saying he won all this money, and falls asleep with his hands in his pants, and that's the end of the story.
–Bedford Ave & 7th
20-something woman: Which of these trains goes to Exchange Place?
Cop: You gotta take this train to Pavonia, then transfer to one going to the World Trade Center, and that'll take you to Exchange Place.
20-something woman, after pause: Never mind. (exits station)
–PATH Train
