Boy: Sometimes when I get massages I get super hard and try to think of anything I can to make it go down.
Woman: Baseball?
Boy: Like, the most disgusting, boring, wrong thing I can possibly imagine…
Woman: Baseball?
–Jackson Steak House
Boy: Sometimes when I get massages I get super hard and try to think of anything I can to make it go down.
Woman: Baseball?
Boy: Like, the most disgusting, boring, wrong thing I can possibly imagine…
Woman: Baseball?
–Jackson Steak House
Tween girl #1: That’s a girl’s shirt!
Guy in light blue shirt with pink flower on the back that says ‘Mom’s Weekend ’04’: No, it’s not. It’s a man’s shirt.
Tween girl #2: No, that’s a girl’s shirt you have on.
Guy: I’m not going to explain irony to a 12-year-old.
–Target, Queens
Overheard by: Oh, Queens
Young lady: Fuck you, motherfucker!
Boyfriend: C'mon, baby, she dint mean nuttin' to me.
Young lady: That's it. You ain't gettin' it no more! I wouldn't fuck you with the cat's pussy!
Boyfriend: Alright den, the hell with you! Bye–but dem legs are gonna bring you down!
–Queens Bus Stop
Guy #1: Man, I’m hungry. Let’s go into the supermarket for a second.
Guy #2: Key Foods? What for?
Guy #1: Food, asshole.
Guy #2: Man, there ain’t food in there.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Jacek Grebski
Boricua chick #1: So does your new boyfriend go to school?
Boricua chick #2: Yeah, he goes to some fancy-ass school in Manhattan… BMCC or somethin' like that.
–Queens Blvd
Guy #1: Can I have some of your alcohol?
Guy #2: Sure.
Guy #1: That's the worst Long Island Iced Tea I've ever had.
Guy #2: It's a Rum & Coke.
Guy #1: Ohhh, that's why.
–Sunnyside, Queens
Overheard by: Daniel
Woman: When you get to be my age, everybody looks like somebody. And some people pass by twice.
–Lincoln Center
Asian girl: Oh, no! No one had sex on the floor. I mean, OK, so a few of us girls were rolling around on the floor in our bra and panties or whatever but no one was having sex on the floor!
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Lady looking at another woman's Roman sandals: I don't like those Jesus-lookin' sandals!
–The Village
Girl: Do flats make your butt look big?
–9th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Matt Morgan
Guy with faux-hawk: You know in Pee-wee's Big Adventure, after he loses his bike and everyone around him is riding bicycles? I feel that way with high-tops right now.
–14th & 1st
Overheard by: Heather
(trendy, skinny, Upper West Side woman on sidewalk is staring down at her feet and looking concerned)
Preppy 30-something boyfriend: I think your toes look better in those sandals.
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Sushene
Girl: My uncle is gay, like, flying-out-of-his-loafers gay.
–W 67th & Broadway
Overheard by: magical-newyork.blogspot.com
Female cop to two male cops: So he's standing there, really well dressed, nice shoes, and all of a sudden he pulls out this big, big (voice drops) boner, and says "Give me the shoes!"
–Continental Ave Station, Forest Hills
Girl to class: I love classical music! I listen to the Bambi soundtrack all the time!
–Curtis High School, Staten Island
Guy in lobby, at intermission: Hands down, the best band I've ever seen in concert… Hootie and the Blowfish.
–Jazz at Lincoln Center
Guy on cell: I guess they're musicians. They put bitches ahead of practice.
–79th St b/w York & 1st
Overheard by: Queixa
Gay man to another, walking out of a bank: I mean, if you listen to like, one Sade song every six years, it's okay.
–15th St & 8th Ave
Lesbian: Fuck her! All she wants to do is stay home and sit in the kitchen and drink beer and listen to Melissa Etheridge! Fuck her! She can take a cab home!
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Kateri
Straight girl with a seat at the piano: No, I've never been here before, but I'm actually having a good time. I mean, I don't know most of these songs, but earlier he was playing The Sound of Music, and I was rocking out to that.
–Marie's Crisis Piano Bar
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Crazy old cat lady to guy who just shut off obnoxiously loud music in next lane: Why'd you shut it off? I liked that song!
–Marathon Parkway & Northern Boulevard
