Girl #1: How’s your va… [inaudible].
Girl #2: Shhhh.
Girl #1: Your vagina!
Girl #2, flustered: Shhhh!
Girl #1: Didn’t your vibrator break?
[Everyone turns around to stare.]
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Girl #1: How’s your va… [inaudible].
Girl #2: Shhhh.
Girl #1: Your vagina!
Girl #2, flustered: Shhhh!
Girl #1: Didn’t your vibrator break?
[Everyone turns around to stare.]
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Woman #1: You know that wasn’t a real woman, right?
Woman #2: I don’t know, I don’t know. I gotta ask my husband. He’ll know.
–23rd & 3rd
Hopelessly lost tourist: How do you get to Broadway?
Irritable local: Practice.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kelly
Guy #1: So, are you gonna go to the pharmacy again?
Guy #2: No, dude.
Guy #1: Why not? You should go to the pharmacy.
Guy #2: Dude, if I go to the pharmacy it's gonna be so awkward. She found my number in the database and called me.
–The Met
Boyfriend: Can you believe they're saying the temperature is gonna rise, like, 5 degrees over the next 100 years?
Girlfriend: Yeah, but it's all based on scientist's predictions and computer models.
Boyfriend: Predictions and computer models? C'mon!
Girlfriend: How do you think they predict anything?
Boyfriend: But to force public policy upon us based on these predictions and models is a mistake!
Girlfriend: Force public policy upon us? What are you talking about? Nobody's forcing you to do anything.
Boyfriend: Hillary Clinton taking oil company profits. There you go.
Girlfriend: (looks puzzled)
Boyfriend: Booyah!
–Pool, 79th St
Chick: What is she waving around? Is that a penis pop?
Dude: Yes.
Chick: What flavor is it?
–Montien Thai, 12th & 3rd
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Chick on cell: What are you doing tonight? Do you want to grab a drink, since I’m not having sex?
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo: You know Bin Laden? Bin Laden has no sex.
–1 train
Lady to two girlfriends: She harasses people with that body. That’s why ain’t nobody want her.
–96th St station
Mid-50s blonde: I just don’t think I’m getting anything out of this. I mean, you don’t give me sex, you don’t give me money, so what the hell am I getting?
–Sushi restaurant, Soho
Man on cell: I’m okay now. The doctor said I could have sex. If only I could find someone to have sex with.
–E 61st & Lex
Blonde: We don’t have sex that much because I’m a virgin.
–E 23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Jake
Guy in hallway: I’d stick it in her, but she’d just pull it back out again.
–Leon M. Goldstein High
Overheard by: Hand-banana
Unfortunate-looking guy: …and I met this girl there so I'm pretty excited to go back.
Female friend: Is she blind?
Unfortunate-looking guy: No, she's actually a brunette and she's got freckles.
Female friend: No, I asked you if she was blind.
Unfortunate-looking guy: I missed you so much.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Lauren
Father: So, do you have a green card?
Nanny: No, but I’m getting one soon.
Two-year-old boy: Do you have a red one, too?!
–Central Park
Overheard by: heading to the darfur rally
