Professional 20-something girl: Julia Stiles came into the office today.
Guy friend: Did you fuck her?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Fi
Professional 20-something girl: Julia Stiles came into the office today.
Guy friend: Did you fuck her?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Fi
White guy to black girlfriend: God, I'm so racist.
–Canal St & Elizabeth St
Big black lady: So, have they fired that African guy yet? (laughs hysterically) Nah, you right. Mexicans won't do that shit no more!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: NewHaircut
White woman to black woman: So, tell me about your people. Do you know where they come from?
–Whitehall St & South St
Overheard by: Jon A.
White girl walking in Harlem: Dang, even the squirrels are black here!
–125th & Amsterdam
Tween: Mom, what's Negro Day?
–Neil Simon Theatre
Little blond girl to black mother: You mean we're black?
–Hudson & Barrow
Overheard by: Emily
Man in floor-length green dress to passersby: How do you know if you're having a baby? It's by the way you lift your legs!
–8th & 34th
Guy to girlfriend: Just make sure you tell me if you're on antibiotics. I already got like three babies that way.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: It's how I got mine
Large black man: She was poppin' those babies out like an Easy-Bake Oven!
–Coney Island Broadwalk
Hobo woman yelling at random pregnant woman: I told you be careful with that belly! That baby's gonna die! It gonna die!
–Broadway & Liberty
Overheard by: CG
Man talking animatedly on cell: Yeah! Don't be surprised if the baby comes out with a hairy red ass!
–Spring Street, SoHo
Middle aged woman: Your baby wouldn't stop crying, so I put my tit in his mouth.
–W 12th & W 4th
Overheard by: michael diamond
Old man, after having ticket punched: He put holes in my ticket — he ruined it! [Commuter woman laughs, thinking he’s joking.] Why are you laughing? [Commuter woman gives another nervous laugh.] Why are you laughing?!
–LIRR
Overheard by: guingel
Smashed male Yankees fan: Yeah, I am married. So what's the problem with your life?
Equally hammered female Yankees fan: I don't swallow, and I have two twenty-year-old twin boys.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Jabroni
Hobo: Hey man, can I have a cigarette?
Jewish smoker: No, sorry, I'm running low.
Hobo: No, you just don't wanna give me a cig 'cause you're a Jew.
Jewish smoker: Why can't you afford your own cigarettes? Is it cause you're black?
–9th Ave & 18th St
Teen girl: You know what I don’t get?
Preppy friend: What?
Teen girl: If Mary was a virgin, how did she get pregnant?
Preppy friend: Uh…I think a white dove came down and landed on her.
Teen girl: … And where did it land?
Preppy friend: On her shoulder.
Teen girl: So a dove–
Preppy friend: A white dove. Impregnated mary on her shoulder. Yeah.
Teen girl: Who told you that?
Preppy friend: Sara, in Geometry.
Teen girl: … Sara is Jewish, you idiot!
–McDonald’s, Park Ave
Guy on bench to friend: What did you do? You can't just eat a fish!
–Central Park North
Chick on cell: Were we attacking each other with goldfish last night?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman to friend: And on top of that, I hear she smokes like a fish!
–Columbus & 67th
Overheard by: abcnews
Girl on cell: I don't have snakeskin shoes, but I have these fish shoes I really love. Yeah, they're made out of fish scales. They're awesome.
–Penn Station
Middle-aged African American woman: I went to eat in the Bronx and she gave me naked fish.
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: the guy behind the guy
Lost college girl to staff: Excuse me, I came in here to find a textbook but I spent all my money on that New Moon shit. Can I get a college discount?
20-something staff: Um, Edward or Jacob?
Lost college girl: Jacob.
20-something staff: Yeah, I think we can get you a discount.
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Overheard by: Taylor not twilight
Old guy browsing power tools: What about a bomb?
Buddy: A bomb? … We already talked about that.
–Home Depot, 23rd St
Overheard by: Benjamin
