Wednesday One-Liners for Bernardo and the Sharks

Chica on cell: He was just white. Like, a white guy. Except Puerto Rican.

–Park Terrace West, Inwood

Overheard by: Gringo Starr

Puerto Rican thug to another, both wearing Puerto Rican flag bandanas as face masks: White people better get used to us. There be like 80 billion of us in the world… Or maybe 8 thousand of us…at least.

–F Train

Overheard by: Brent

Teen on cell: Wait, you're in Puerto Rico? I'll be right there, that's by Chinatown, right? What do you mean it's an island? Like Staten Island? How the fuck did you get there?

–Colombus Circle

Overheard by: Graham Davis

JAP on phone: He called me a clingy JAP! How fucking low! I could've easily pulled the "you're-a-Puerto-Rican-from-Staten-Island" card.

–92nd & 5th

Guy (shouting): Hey guys! You like Puerto Ricans?!

–Times Square

Overheard by: CytoFox

Dad on scooter with eight-year-old girl: I don't want to hear that… Don't fuckin' push me, Joanna! You are not black, you are Puerto Rican!

–Flatbush & Fulton

Overheard by: Chelsea

Posted on November 30, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Insults, JAPs, Latinos, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Teens, Thugs, Times Square, Washington Heights and Inwood

…Anne Frank, Get Your Gun

Dude #1: Do you think it’s possible to write a book and then find out it’s just like another book?
Dude #2: Yeah… That happened with my musical about the Nazis…

–114th & Broadway

Overheard by: HuntingSnark

Posted on November 30, 2014
Books & Writing, Compare/Contrast, Default, Guys, Hitler/Nazis, Questions, Theater & Dance, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Is “No Blood for Oil” a New Emo Band?

Tourist #1, pointing to an anti-war protest in Times Square: What's that?
Tourist #2: I think it's TRL.

–43rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Mike Fish

Posted on November 30, 2014
Default, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Questions, Tourists, TV

“Ah. The Hillary Clinton concealer, then.”

Counter lady #1: Do I have something on my face?
Counter lady #2: Yeah. Evilness.

–Cafe 212, Columbia University

Overheard by: Ariz

Posted on November 30, 2014
Blue-collar workers, Body Parts, Columbia (& Barnard), Comebacks, Questions, Talking/Convos, Women

You’ve Got the Wrong Railroad for That, Ma’am

[After being asked for full fare.]Ghetto woman: No, ma’am! I do not have to pay! Did you forget about Abraham Lincoln in 1856, I mean 1865? He freed the slaves! Guess you forgot!
Assistant conductor: I still need the full fare, ma’am!
Ghetto woman: No, ma’am! I still don’t see my reparations! Where’s my check?!?! Where’s my 40 acres and a mule?!?!

–Metro North

Overheard by: Laughing Whitey

Posted on November 29, 2014
Conductors, Default, Ghetto Chicks, History & Geography, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Public Transportation, Questions, Race, Trains Not Subway

To Make Quotas, Mark Sold Himself Aggressively

Man in line for next available salesperson at Old Navy: Who wants a piece of this?
Next available salesperson: Next in line?
Man: That's what I'm talking about!

–Old Navy, 6th Ave

Posted on November 29, 2014
Men, Questions, Store, Vendors & Street Performers, Weirdness

First, Though, I Have to Explain About Taxes

Little kid after ‘death’ mentioned in movie: Dad? What’s death?
Dad: [Silence]Little kid: Hey, Dad?
Dad: I’ll tell you after the movie.

–Downtown movie theater

Overheard by: Dylan

Posted on November 29, 2014
Dads, Death, Kids, Movie Theaters, Questions

Really the Best Way to Put Conflict in Perspective

Hobo #1: Stop playing your fucking drum, I hear it all the way over here.
Hobo #2: I was here first, motherfucker!
Hobo #3: You guys, why can't you just play together?
Hobo #2: Nah, fuck you man! Stay out of it!
Hobo #3: You should die. You gonna die. Tonight!
Hobo #2: Are you threatening me, man?
Hobo #3 (laughing): Nah, man, I'm just a shoe shiner, but you're seriously gonna die.

–Washington Square

Overheard by: Highstein

Posted on November 29, 2014
Death, Default, Gripes, Hobos, Insults, Offers and requests, Questions, Threats, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners, the Forbidden Dance

Tween girl: I mean, she changed her MySpace name to "freaky dancer," I mean, she needs to take that shit off. Seriously, take it off, because I'm the freaky dancer, no one else is the freaky dancer but me.

–Uptown 6 Train

Man: There will be no more dancing tonight. I broke the pole.

–Times Square

Jumpy drunk guy: I have two options. Dance or fall asleep!

–Blackbird Parlour, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ak

Guy: I'm really into Nijinsky…no homo.

–F Train

Weary looking woman on cell: Six and a half hours of burlesque. I didn't think there was such a thing as too much burlesque…but I thought wrong.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: McNasty

College girl: And then I would say: "But do you object? Do you object to my vagina dance?"

–Union Square

Posted on November 28, 2014
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Dancing, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Men, Myspace, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Penn Station, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Tweens, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Those Guys Are So Ignorant

Security guard to group of teenagers: Where are you from? Are you from the West Coast? I want to know what's going on over there.
Teenager: We're from Washington, DC.
Security guard: Oh, that's on the West Coast.
Teenager: No, Washington, DC is on the East Coast.
Security guard: Ohhh. You've got all those politicians, huh? That sucks.

–Bowrey Ballroom

Overheard by: Fifi

Posted on November 28, 2014
Bowery Ballroom, Politics, Questions, Security Guards, Stupidity, Teens, U.S. Geography

Questions