Before a movie, a man gets up and jumps off a balcony. His friend remains seated.
Fellow movie patron: Did he just die?
Friend: Nah, nah it’s cool. He’s a French wall-jumper.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Before a movie, a man gets up and jumps off a balcony. His friend remains seated.
Fellow movie patron: Did he just die?
Friend: Nah, nah it’s cool. He’s a French wall-jumper.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Little kid: Mama, Mama! Where are all those bunnies we saw last night? Where are those bunnies? We have to find the bunnies again, Mama!
Lady: Aww! Where were the bunnies you saw, Cole?
Mother: Actually Cole, those were rats.
–Fulton Street
Overheard by: Jess Kimball
Queer: Excuse me, but what is the owner’s name again?
Host: I am the owner.
Queer: Really?
Host: Yeah, there are five of us.
Queer: Damn. Well, which one did I fuck?
–THAT Bar, Smith Street
Tourist fratboy #1: It said “Free Stress Test.”
Tourist fratboy #2: What’s Dianetics, anyway?
–Times Square
Overheard by: KN
Care for Kids fundraiser: Excuse me, can I talk to you real quick? I know you’re in a rush but this will only take a second.
Suit: Sorry, I don’t care.
–Maiden Lane & Water Street
Overheard by: Jack C.
Tourist woman: I had no idea the Guggenheim Museum was so cheesy looking. What’s it made out of? Is that papier mache or something?
Tourist man: Well, I remember reading somewhere that Frank Lloyd Wright really was a nut.
–5th Ave. & 88th St.
Overheard by: Galen Chistopher
Woman: Why are you smiling and licking your lips at me? Do you do this to all the customers?
–J & R Music World, Park Row
Overheard by: mimi lester
Girl: Why the fuck is that other train moving?
Boy: Because that train isn’t fucking defective.
Girl: Whatever.
–1 train
Woman #1: Excuse me, does the N train stop at Central Park?
Woman #2: Lady, go ask a fucking crystal ball, or learn how to read a damn subway map.
–Union Square station
Overheard by: Craig D
A truck driver is parked on the side of the road, honking at what appears to be nothing at all. A female pedestrian shoots him a dirty look.
Truck driver: Nobody’s honking at you, you dumb bitch!
–Bay Ridge
Tourist: Which way is the Empire State Building?
Newspaper vendor: What do I look like, a fuckin’ road map?
–outside Grand Central
Overheard by: Dork
A trendy guy walked out into oncoming traffic, forcing an SUV to slam on the brakes. The driver screamed out of his open window: The hell you think you are, my hood ornament?
–40th & 7th
Dowager: What we really need to do is to educate these poor people so they don’t have sex. It’s the poor people who keep spreading all the STDs and the AIDS. Do you know any rich people with STDs? I didn’t think so.
–MoMA cafe
Lady #1: I can’t believe she said those things. She was so politically incorrect.
Lady #2: Well what did you expect her to say?
Lady #1: Something humanly correct.
–Shubert Theatre, 44th Street
