Art for Wednesday One-Liner’s Sake

Woman at bar to her friend: Ok, I know I’m an art dealer, but I’m like, the least bourgeois person I know.

–Smith & Mills (restaurant in Tribeca)

Overheard by: the lerpa

Little boy to friends: There are are four really big, important artists: Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir and… Pistachio.

–Impressionism Room, Metropolitan Museum of Art

Overheard by: I love Pistachio’s green period

Young girl: These paintings smell nice and fresh!

–The Met

Angry white suburban artist to Jews for Jesus: Stop talking! You are pushing this on me without me asking -that makes you a cult. Go away. We don’t like your kind here -we are all white suburban artists.

–Morgan L Stop on Bogart

Overheard by: not a hipster

Gangsta: Dali? Ain’t he like, Picasso or some shit?

–The Met

Posted on February 4, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Artists, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Race, Religion, Restaurants & Cafes, Scents of the City, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Met, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women, Words

Well, I Don’t Think It’s Quite That Cut and Dry

Chick #1: So, I was taking his pants off and I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, he’s wearing whitey-tighties!’ And then I realized they were actually black..
Chick #2: You didn’t know already that he was black?!

–Brother Jimmy’s BBQ

Overheard by: Joe John

Posted on February 4, 2015
Clothing, Girls, Race, Restaurants & Cafes

Not Even an Albino?

Spa Girl: I just want to remind you that for 24 hours after your appointment you can’t have any food or drink with color.
Man: So does that mean that I can’t sleep with a black woman tonight?
Spa Girl: Uh…no! I guess not!

–BriteSmile Spa , 57th & 5th

Overheard by: Jackie Lee

Posted on February 3, 2015
Drinks, Food, Girls, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Race, Sex, Talking/Convos, Time

Can I Talk About David Lynch?

White chick: And they kept talking shit about gay people.
White guy: Fucking bigots. Those people should be lynched.
White chick: Shh! I told you to stop talking about lynching in this neighborhood!

–143rd & Broadway

Posted on February 2, 2015
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Race, Street, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

Isn't That Why the Lollipop Guild Was Formed?

Teacher: Which race of people were counted as 3/5 of a person during the 1850s in the South?
Student: Midgets.

–Williamsburg High School

Posted on January 31, 2015
Fast Times at New York High, History & Geography, Questions, Race, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Williamsburg

What About the Old Cuban Lady We Have Rolling Cigars in the Basement?

Black guy #1: Yeah, Obama! The slaves are free!
Black guy #2: Uh, what?

–Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: walkin' whitey

Posted on January 29, 2015
Black People, Brooklyn, Guys, President, Race

Wednesday Sung Liners

Metalhead, playing guitar and singing: Buy some fuckin' poptarts /buy some fuckin' weed/ buy some fuckin' cigarettes/buy everything you need!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: j

Singing hobo pushing cart: I am wiiiise. I am wise!

–Union Square Station

Overly flamboyant gay guy, singing: I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit. (swishes hips while walking)

–11th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Mal Sullivan

Singing gay guy to another, clapping hands in rhythm: You look like a cunt, you act like a cunt, you smell like a cunt, you feel like a cunt…

–2 Train

Overheard by: drew

Hobo, getting into train and taking out electric guitar and amp: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! This song is for the white lady with the orange pocketbook. She reminds me of Martha Stewart…when she got out of jail. (starts singing) 3 train white lady is my girl, my girl, my girl!

–Downtown 3 Train

Overheard by: Jingles

Little girl in stroller, singing happily: Doe, a deer, a hee-hale deer. Ray, a drop of golden pee-pee…

–E Train

Posted on January 27, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Hobos, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Music, Musicians, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Pee, Physical appearance, Prison, Queer guys, Race, Shopping, Singing, Smoking, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Words

Gosh, You Really Get Me!

Teenage Asian guy #1: I'm Chinese, I'm allowed to be obnoxious.
Teenage Asian guy #2: Dude, you're American. That's why you're obnoxious.

–4 Train

Overheard by: Hillary

Posted on January 26, 2015
Asians, Philosophy, Psychology, Race, Teens, Trains Not Subway

Before the Ceremony Last Week, She Was Latina

Guido: Ya know, you’re very cute.
Asian chick: Um, thanks?
Guido: Wanna sit with me on the train?
Asian chick: No, I’m good.
Guido: Can I getcha numba?
Asian chick: Uh, no, sorry. I just converted. I, um, only go out with Asians now.

–Penn Station

Posted on January 25, 2015
Asians, Girls, Guidos, Lies, Offers and requests, Penn Station, Pick-up Lines, Race, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

The Bitch is From the Dad’s Side, Oddly

Chick: You think I won’t step up and kick some nigga’s ass just because I’m a bitch? I’m bisexual. Yeah, I’m bisexual: I’m half bitch, half nigga.

–Q train

Overheard by: Reb Stu

Posted on January 24, 2015
Assholes, Dating, Farting & Burping, Girls, On the Subway, Race, Weirdness, Words

Race