Guy: How were things with your ex last night?
Girl: You know… He threw up and started crying, so I gave him a hug. He got an erection, threw up two more times and passed out.
Guy: So, same old same old.
–E 51st, b/w 1st & 2nd
Guy: How were things with your ex last night?
Girl: You know… He threw up and started crying, so I gave him a hug. He got an erection, threw up two more times and passed out.
Guy: So, same old same old.
–E 51st, b/w 1st & 2nd
Concerned man to friend: So, wait, does girl A know about girl B?
Friend, nonchalantly: Yeah.
–Fordham & Crotona
Hubby: That woman just grabbed my ass!
Wifey: Yeah, you wish.
–Outside the Hard Rock, W 57th St.
Overheard by: Ron Marler
Merrill Lynch yuppie: I paid my girlfriend's rent! And her food! And I only get to have sex with her once a month! And it's been like this for my past two relationships! I think I can handle having sex five times a month…
Girl: That's too much!
Merrill Lynch yuppie: I make $1.5 million a year in Merrill Lynch!
–Tre Restaurant
Overheard by: D
Techie in suit: I mean, there are two reasons. A: it's better.
Meathead friend: Uh-huh.
Techie: A: it's warmer.
Meathead: Uh-huh.
Techie: B: the women there are much more receptive to thinly veiled suggestion.
Meathead: Uh…
Techie: What I mean by that is that they have low self esteem. I do my best work with low self esteem.
–14th St & 8th Ave Subway Station
Overheard by: Rebecca
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. I promise it will never. happen. again.
–uptown C train
Man screaming on cell : Nah, I didn’t lie to you about nuthin’. [Pause] Even if I did lie, I sho’ wouldn’t tell you about it!
–43rd & 6th
Overheard by: C Mike
Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago.
–34th & 7th
Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
–33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Wade
Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cha
Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Braincurve
Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock.
–Central Park
Teen girl to girl friend: Hey, when are we getting our matching tattoos?
Guy friend to another: She's so serious.
–Duane Reade
Girl #1: My nipples are really sore and I don’t know why.
Girl #2: Did you ever think that they might hurt because of the pieces of metal you’ve stapled through them?
–110th St
Overheard by: Not stapled
Girl #1: We have a friendship of sorts.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah?
Girl #1: Well, a kinky sex friendship.
Girl #2: … What does it look like?
Girl #1: It’s studded.
–Peanut Butter & Co.
