Girl #1: We have a friendship of sorts.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah?
Girl #1: Well, a kinky sex friendship.
Girl #2: … What does it look like?
Girl #1: It’s studded.
–Peanut Butter & Co.
Girl #1: We have a friendship of sorts.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah?
Girl #1: Well, a kinky sex friendship.
Girl #2: … What does it look like?
Girl #1: It’s studded.
–Peanut Butter & Co.
Suit on cell: I expected pus, but it’s got little black specks in it.
–Pelham Bay Park, the Bronx
Overheard by: HelenA.Handbasket
Suit: When I said “fairy tale” I meant like Mother Goose–not Miss Dirty Martini!
–F train
Overheard by: braincurve
Suit #1 to suit #2: Oh sure, I’ve got a source. I can get you a kidney, no problem.
–Madison Square Park
Female suit on cell: I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I think you’re in a very nagging place right now.
–Duane & Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Middle-Aged suit: Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies boobies boobies…
–41st & 8th
Suit on cell: So there’s gonna be total chaos on September 14th, but that’s all we have planned so far.
–Church St
Overheard by: Dara
Suit: My goal in life is to one day sue someone.
–A train
Overheard by: LSB
Drunk guy to entire restaurant: Everyone I want to make a toast, raise your fucking glasses. Alright — My girlfriend had an abortion, we are not having a baby!
–Silk Road Palace, 81st & Amsterdam
Guy #1: Dude. Don’t hold my hand; that is so gay.
Guy #2: Ok, so I can suck your dick, but not hold your hand?
–Outside Down The Hatch, 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Romany
Woman on cell: Well, her profile says ‘In a relationship,’ so she has no excuse to be fucking everyone else’s boyfriends!
–The Bagel House, 39th St & Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Louie
Guy: Hey, I’ll give you my ex-girlfriend if you’ll take her.
–1st St & Ave A
Overheard by: apples
Fag hag: Anderson Cooper is so gorgeous. I want to be his boyfriend.
–1 train
Overheard by: Allisa
Ghetto babe: She kicked the shit out of three or four boyfriends. She’s not gettin’ another. What’s she gonna do? Call him up, kick the shit out of him, get herself locked up again?
–Penn Station
Girl on cell: I might break up with my boyfriend because he wants to get a monkey.
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: Matt
Bimbette: Do you think the reason I can’t get a boyfriend is because I never re-post those things on MySpace?!
–LaGuardia airport
Little girl: I don’t have a boyfriend right now. Sometimes it’s better not to be in a relationship.
–72nd St & York
Emotional suit: My shrink said I’m dragging my feet to test my wife.
Supportive suit: He could be right.
Emotional suit: No, it’s a woman.
Supportive suit: Oh no! She is manipulating your ass.
–3 Train
Overheard by: EmLo
NYU girl to friend: So then he like bitched me out, hardcore, in a text. And he didn’t talk to me for like a day so I was just like, “Ugh, whatever.” But then he ended our relationship on facebook! And I was just like, “Oh my god!” I need someone who’s mature, y’know?
Friend: Oh… Yeah. Totally.
–NYU
Overheard by: Clook
Woman: And how are things with your girlfriend, hm? What is she like?
Guy: Well… she does have a big nose.
Woman: Her nose? Why are you concerned about her nose? It's her personality that matters!
Guy: But she always hits me whenever I mention it!
–5th Ave
Overheard by: the art major
Chick: If we ever do go to Vegas, we have to see a brothel!
Queer: Isn’t that where monks live?
–Rubin Hall elevator, NYU
Guy #1: Man, I am so done with her.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: Yeah. I woke up one morning and looked at her and I knew I was done. Next contestant on my fuck show please.
–55th & 9th
Overheard by: Matt Innes
