Mother: Hmm…remind me to make a stop at The Home Depot on the way home. Your father said he needed a stripper to remove some paint.
–59th & Lexington
Mother: Hmm…remind me to make a stop at The Home Depot on the way home. Your father said he needed a stripper to remove some paint.
–59th & Lexington
Girl: If anybody is gonna bring back the cape it will probably be a
lesbian.
–Borders, Time Warner Center
Woman: So what book does she want?
Chick: She says Julius Caesar.
Woman: What’s that?
Chick: Is that the title or the name of the author? Call her and ask her. I can’t find it.
–Target, 225th Street
Girl: I know you’re not religious, but do you believe in dinosaurs?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Sasha
Woman #1: Yeah, so I dropped my baggage off at my mother’s house the other day.
Woman #2: Are you going on a trip somewhere?
Woman #1: No, I just needed her to babysit for a while.
Woman #2: Babysit what? I don’t get it.
Woman #1: The children, dammit! The children!
Woman #2: Relax! At first you said baggage…Oh, I see now.
–Macy’s, Queens Center Mall
Old lady: I like this address book, but I want one with ABCs on the side.
Store guy: Well, this one has tabs, but no letters…
Old lady: Why don’t you have any that have ABCs?
Store guy: This collection was made in Japan…
Old lady: And what, they don’t go by ABCs there?
–MoMA Design Store, West 53rd Street
Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matthew Suss
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Cashier girl: You have more than 10 items.
White man: Who are you? Are you the items police?
Cashier girl: You’re only allowed to have 10 items.
White man: Fine, but I have two of the same items, so does that count as one item or two?
Cashier girl: I have to call the manager.
–D’Agostino, 76th & Lexington
Overheard by: Andrew Saint John Goodwin
Salesman#1: How do you pronounce this guy’s name?
Salesman#2: I’m afraid to try; I might chip a friggin’ tooth.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: willy k
