History teacher: And who wrote the Declaration of Independence?
White girl: Thomas Jefferson.
Black boy: Oh, I was gonna say “George Jefferson.”
Black girl: “George Jefferson” is the name of the chicken place by your house, fool!
–LaGuardia Arts High School
Overheard by: George Jefferson
Foreign student: So how did you do on the SATs?
American student: Screw the SATs. I lost respect for America when I took the SATs. The difference between Yale and BMCC is an analogy.
–Convent Ave
Overheard by: miguel
Barnard girl, examining other girl's wrist brace: Oh, I thought it was, like, some cool Urban Outfitters…
Other girl: No!
Barnard girl: Aw, baby!
–115th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex
NYU student #1: Who is Paris Green, anyway?
NYU student #2: Didn't he manage the Yankees for a little while?
NYU student #3: That was Dallas Green.
NYU student #1: Are they related?
NYU student #3: They used to use Paris Green to kill rats.
NYU student #2: He was an exterminator?
NYU student #1: Either way, I fucked up the test.
–Starbucks, Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Big Larry
Female student #1: Yeah, I think I'd sleep with a guy just so he wouldn't kill me. It'd be pity sex.
Female student #2: That's not pity sex, that's rape!
–Columbia University Library
Overheard by: MizBehavior
Latin teacher: I don't think [Catullus] is exactly calling her a five-cent ho.
Student: Haha, he said ho!
–Packer Collegiate
Overheard by: Fred S.
Male Columbia student: So I really need an idea for a business venture.
Female Columbia student: How about, you da pimp, they da hos?
–112th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Megan W.
NYU boy #1: Damn, we were so high last night.
NYU boy #2: I know, I was just in the bathroom looking at the shampoo bottle for, like, twenty minutes because it was, like, so beautiful!
NYU boy #3 (laughing): Yeah, Brady was so fucked up… Remember when he threw up his teeth?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: cindy fernandez
College girl #1: So how did she get into Berkley?
College girl #2: She's probably really smart…and she works with the mentally retarded.
–A Train
Overheard by: AB McNeely
NYU chick #1: What kind of dog is that one? (points towards woman with a bundle in her arms)
NYU chick #2: That's a baby.
–59th St
Overheard by: Kate
