Stupidity

Middle-aged man: I like these hats they’re selling. Oh, look at the one on her head! That looks warm.
Forlorn wife: That’s her real hair. She has dreadlocks.
Middle-aged man: Oh, my! You can’t take me anywhere.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Dizzle

Older woman on park bench: How is Barry?
Older man on park bench: Barry Manilow? Don't know 'em.
Woman: You know Truman Capote's son? He liked pumpkin soup.

–Union Square Park

Chick #1: I took this class called History of the Universe. It sucks.
Chick #2: Sounds like, I mean, that’s so intimidating…the whole
history of the universe!
Chick #3: Plus it’s all about physics and astrology and stuff.

–NYU A bus

Hipster girl #1: I like how anti-comic you are.
Hipster girl #2: I like how we discovered how anti-comic we are.

–Cake Shop

Overheard by: Kaet

Man: But I’m just not attracted to you. You’re like a sister to me.
Woman: But I’m not your sister. And besides, you know, me and my sister fooled around when we were little.
Man: Hmmm, let’s see. After this we could go get a drink, or I could go home and think about how much I’m not attracted to you…
Woman: I mean think about it…Hypothetical incest. Predetermined lust, undeformed children.

–Al di La, Park Slope

Chick #1: Yea, I have a Bachelor’s in Fine Arts…I’m a welder.
Chick #2: A what?
Chick #1: You know, with the mask and the blowtorch and all that.
Chick #2 [waving her hand like a ribbon dancer]: Oooooh, so it’s a sport, right?

–G Train

Chick: Hi, how much are these?
Vendor hippie: Ten, or two for 18.
Chick: Oh.
Vendor hippie: Yea, on Macdougal they sell them cheaper, but they’re made by Chinese kids who make one-fifty an hour. Capitalist bastards.
Chick: Oh. Are you going to be here tomorrow?
Vendor hippie: Well, tomorrow it’s going to rain, and then for the next fifteen days the government is paying me to take ecstasy and play on the computer while they observe me.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Emily Leonard

Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets.

–10 Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: Jarrod

Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options.

–Grand St, Chinatown

Overheard by: Mike Posillico

Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song.

–Bx15 Bus

Overheard by: Karly

Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold!

–34th & 3rd

Overheard by: Dahouhou

Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there.

–14th St, across Doomed Megastore

Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin

Guy: Ooh, actuarial, eh? That’s like birds, right?

–Silver Center, Washington Square East

Overheard by: Chirag Shah

Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!

–Chrystie & Housten

Overheard by: Probably True…

Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Would the street be safer?

Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.

–Duane Reade

Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.

–Inwood

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!

–34th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Katface