(class is watching a science video)
Scientist in the video: The problem with the big bang is that we know nothing about it. We don’t when it banged, why it banged, how it banged, what exactly was being banged…
(entire class laughs)
Smart‐ass student: See, when a man loves a woman…
Smarter‐ass student: Please, as if you didn’t just learn that last year in bio!
–Stuyvesant High School
Girl #1: It’s really warm, and I really want to take these pants off.
Girl #2: That shirt’s long enough to cover your butt, and you’re wearing tights under it, right?
Girl #1: Yeah, but still. I’m not white.
–Stuyvesant High School
Teacher: Do you know anything about gang signs?
Ginger student: Do you think I know anything about gang signs? I’m as white as can be!
–Stuyvesant High School
Teen girl: You know, relationships are a lot like the British government. The queen thinks she’s in charge, but the prime minister has all the power.
Teen boy: I wonder if people in the real world are subjected to this kind of conversation.
–Stuyvesant High School, Chambers Street
Girl #1, in Spanish: Yesterday I saw the movie The History of Violence.
Girl #2: Hey, is that the one about the penguins?
–Spanish class, Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Espanola
Student #1: Yo, who cares about the surrender at Yorktown?
Student #2: Actually, that’s mad important.
Student #1: Oh, really?
Teacher: Well, if the British hadn’t surrendered we’d all (in a British accent) talk like this and sound ridiculous.
Student #1: Um, no, if that had happened I’d probably be in Pakistan, in my village, farming.
Student #2: You’d be dead because the British had control of Pakistan too.
Student #1: And you’d be working a factory in China!
–Stuyvesant High School
Check in girl: I only like buying books with sparkles on the cover.
–York & 72nd
Overheard by: fance
Teenage girl on cell: I gotta find this book in the religion section. You know, it’s like… it’s not that you believe in god, or you don’t believe in god, but that you just don’t care? I want that book!
–Borders Bookstore, Midtown
Amtrak conductor: A free copy of Amtrak’s Arrive magazine is located in your seat pocket. For those seeking enlightenment, this magazine is the first step.
–Train, Penn Station
Student, discussing The Sound and the Fury: I suppose it’s a very *artsy* ending – a big, retarded guy holding a broken flower… Does that come with skinny jeans and an apartment in Williamsburg?
–Stuyvesant High School
Tipsy 30‐something nerd: We can’t all be riding escalators with hard-ons.(older woman turns around) What, lady? It’s a literary reference, look it up!
–1st & 7th
Overheard by: Phyllis Dean
Tourist son: Wow, is this high school?
Tourist dad: Yup, you gotta be like Asian to go here.
–Stuyvesant High School
Teacher: This is pretty darn green bromothymol blue.
Student: What color’s it supposed to be?
Teacher: Um, bromothymol blue.
–Stuyvesant High
Student: Do you hate me, Mr Jones*?
Mr Jones*: I usually don’t admit it, but in this case…
–Stuyvesant High School
