Warning: This Story is Character-Driven

Rhodes Scholar wigger: Yeah, we ain’t together no more. Bitch had the nerve to dump me.
Friend: What happened? You guys looked fine last week. It doesn’t make sense.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: She wasn’t down with how I roll. Always dissin’ the way I talk and shit–you know, correcting me and shit. Said she couldn’t take it no more, that I was always actin’ ign-i-ant or some shit. Like she’s some brain scientist or some shit. Bitch was always wrong anyways.
Friend: Brain surgeon.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: What?
Friend: You said brain scientist. I think you meant brain surgeon.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: Dat’s what I said nigga, you just heard me wrong.
Friend: You know what, suddenly it does makes sense.

–Manhattan bound F train

Overheard by: SandmanEsq

Posted on October 13, 2006
Assholes, Black People, Breaking Up, Education, Friends, Idiots, On the Subway, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Words

Look, You Can’t Go Around Displaying Enthusiasm — What Will People Think?

Woman #1: Oooh! Look! A kid’s store! It’s so cute!
Woman #2: I hate you. I hate you for telling me that.

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on October 1, 2006
Assholes, Business and Commerce, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Relationships, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Women

Rape of the Sabine Transsexuals

Teen girl #1: If you were a guy, I would totally rape you.
Teen girl #2: Isn’t it the other way around?
Teen girl #1: No. I wouldn’t rape a girl. Unless she was a guy.
Teen girl #2: Oh.

–Broadway

Posted on September 30, 2006
College, Crime and Punishment, Gender issues, Girls, Manhattan, Questions, Rape, Talking/Convos, Teens, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

They’re Not Going to Be One-Upped on the Surrealism

Guy #1: You know that Anton Webern’s Quartet for the End of Time was performed in a concentration camp? Crazy.
Guy #2: Yeah. He died real weird. I forget how. I think the Nazis shot him.
Total stranger: Actually he was shot by Allied soldiers. He was breaking curfew smoking a cigarette, and they mistook him for his brother-in-law, who was an alleged Nazi spy.
Guy #1: Oh, I see. Thanks.
Total stranger: Any other questions? I just ride this train all day waiting to answer questions on twentieth-century music composition. The next car has an expert on Chekhov, and the conductor studies philosophy.
Guy #1: So anyway, Slavic girls are pretty hot.
Guy #2: Yeah, for real.

–7 train

Posted on September 26, 2006
Beauty, Death, Global Geography, Guys, History & Geography, Hitler/Nazis, Intelligentsia, Music, On the Subway, Strangers, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

See, Because of You the Whole Class Got Punished

Woman #1: Yo! Hurry up in there!
Woman #2: Don’t you be tellin’ me to rush! I got my woman needs, too! I had to change my pads! Betcha didn’t wanna hear that, huh, didya? Didya?
Woman #3: No. We didn’t.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Alanna

Posted on September 24, 2006
Menstruation, People, Port Authority, Talking/Convos, Women

After All, Marriage Is a Three-Year Commitment

Girl #1: I’ve been doing eHarmony, and all of the guys they’ve matched me with have fit my personality really well.
Girl #2: I want to try eHarmony.
Queer: You’re getting married in, like, three months.
Girl #2: I know… I’m just curious.

–Uptown 6 train

Overheard by: I Know a Good Divorce Lawyer

Posted on September 22, 2006
Bimbettes, Dating, Friends, Girls, Internet, On the Subway, Talking/Convos

Two Honks, a Whistle and a ‘Nice Ass’ Means He Needs Directions

Man in truck: [Honks horn]Rollerblading girl: What the hell does he want from me?
Man in truck: [Wolf whistles] Yeah, baby!
Rollerblading girl: …Oh. Sex.

–50th & Riverside

Overheard by: Vicksburg
Headline by: Jaya

Runners-Up:
· “And That’s How I Met Your Father… and Your Father. Oh, and Your Father Too.” – michael Levy
· “He Puts the ‘F’ in ‘Keep on Trucking'” – LadyP
· “I Knew Those Knee Pads Would Come in Handy!” – jackster
· “In Germany It Means ‘Let’s Play Scrabble Sometime'” – briguy
· “It’s Called a Chevy Pick-Up” – jason
· “Next on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom: Mating Calls of the North American Teamster” – Tom Beckett
· “Pointing at Your Crotch Just Doesn’t Say It Anymore” – Bevan
· “The Etymology of ‘Horny'” – wavyfrog
· “They Usually Want To Discuss Dialectical Materialism” – International Man of Leisure
· “Well That, and Directions to Maryland” – that1dude
· “What’s Wrong With a Little Four by Foreplay?” – Elle

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on September 21, 2006
Beauty, Blue-collar workers, Compliments, Girls, Headline Contest Winners, Horny, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Sex, Talking/Convos

How Long You Bin Loony?

Lady: Excuse me, do you know how to get to the Holliswood Hospital?
Teen: Holliswood Mental Hospital?
Lady: Yes, the Holliswood Psychiatric Hospital.
Teen: Yeah, like I said, the mental hospital.
Lady: Psychiatric.
Teen: Mental.

–Union Turnpike & 188th

Overheard by: Zeve