Dad: It just seems silly. Why risk a lot for a little?
Teen son: It’s not a little, it’s my life!
–14th & 6th
Dad: It just seems silly. Why risk a lot for a little?
Teen son: It’s not a little, it’s my life!
–14th & 6th
Curly teen: Did you see that guy with tattoos all over his face? Do you think he's allowed above 14th Street?
Brunette teen: I think he can get to 23rd without too much damage.
Curly teen: No way, Chelsea is too classy to handle that.
Brunette teen: Not really. They did just open up a Chipotle.
–Union Square
Teen girl #1: Wow, you really have bad luck with tentacles, don’t you?
Teen girl #2, sadly: Yeah…
–Anime Room, Forbidden Planet
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Teen girl #1: Yo, how you spell juicy?
Teen girl #2: I don’t know; I dropped out of school 6 months ago.
–A train
Girl #1: So I don’t wanna be all like, “whatever,” because he, like, totally likes me.
Girl #2: He told me he thinks you’re smart.
–R train
Overheard by: Jorge De La Garza
Teen #1, peeing against side of building: Oh, shit. Now everyone’s getting out of the concert. Can anyone see me?
Teen #2: Come on, man, don’t be shy. Everyone wants to meet you. You’re practically a celeb.
Teen #1, still peeing: I’m so not going to be your friend sophomore year.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: Concertgoer
Teen girl: It’s just… Even though he was fat, I liked him because of his personality. But once I actually saw his penis, or more like lack of a penis, that was just the last straw. I mean, you can be kinda fat with an awesome personality, but you’ve gotta have a good-sized dick, y’know?
Friend: Wait, you didn’t know he had a small dick until last week?!
–56th & 3rd
Overheard by: samantha
Loud teenage guidette: He doesn’t date!
Ugly teenage guidette: Yeah, he’s gay or something. I heard—yeah.
Loud teenage guidette: No, no, he’s protestant—like religious. They worship this Chinese guy…
Ugly teenage guidette: Oh, I heard about that! They don’t date?
Loud teenage guidette: They don’t date white people.
–Starbucks
Teen boy #1: Oh man, it was like an episode of I Love Lucy.
Teen boy #2: I love who?
Teen boy #1: Lucy. Oh man,you don’t know what I Love Lucy is? Bam! I ain’t your friend no more.
–Q train
Black girl on bluetooth headset: You want everyone to suck yo dick, dontcha? Dontcha?! You want everyone to suck yo dick!
–W. 59th & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Alexandra
Twelve-year-old guido, near tears, doubled over in the street screaming on his cell phone: You sucked Charlie’s dick last night, you blow job! You sucked Charlie’s dick last night, you blow job!
–Brooklyn
20 something blonde on cell: … Is that normal? [Pause.] No, it’s different every time, like it almost disappears… Then another time its all swinging and shit… Is that normal? [Listens.]Oh no! Thats just fine, like it gags me when … [Mumbles.]
–LIRR
Manager to employee: You are a cock guzzling thundercunt!
–Chelsea
Gay guy, to his friend: I mean…I may suck dick but at least I don’t take it up the ass.
–16th & 9th
Woman: Short of blowing him in MoMa, I really don’t know how to get his attention.
–A Train
Overheard by: Why MoMa?
