Girl #1: I haven’t seen our homeless guy lately.
Girl #2: We have a homeless guy?
Girl #1: Yeah, the guy who lives on that mattress under our building.
Girl #2: Oh yeah…I hope he’s okay, I haven’t seen him all week.
Girl #1: You know you’re a New Yorker when you worry about where your homeless guy is.
–27th between 5th & Madison
Overheard by: Lauren Lerner
Guy: Yeah, that’s the first thing I learned when I moved here: don’t eat street meat, it’s probably pigeon or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to stop eating it.
Girl #2: I don’t care what kind of meat it is as long as it’s in my mouth.
Girl #1: That’s my sister; she’s looking for a hook-up.
Girl #2: No, I’m not!
Guy: I’m married.
–Irving Plaza, Irving Place
Overheard by: Johnny Tremain
Dude: Do you guys sell bling?
Store guy: All the way in the back, under the skeleton pimp.
–Halloween Adventure, 4th Avenue
Overheard by: Hank Luxford
Guy: I’m like your gay boyfriend.
Girl: Kind of.
Guy: …only without the gay sex part, of course.
Girl: Yes, and without the sense of style.
Guy: I don’t know if I’d say that…
Girl: See, you’re just very emotional. But you should really work on the style, ’cause it’s the best thing about the gay.
–Virgin, Union Square
Teen girl #1: Let’s go in this store.
Teen girl #2: I don’t know…it looks kind of sketch. And there’s a weird guy staring at us.
Teen girl #1: Come on! What have we got to lose?
Teen girl #3: Um, our virginity?
–St. Marks
God Squad guy: Jesus is the answer! Come to Jesus and he’ll hold you in his arms! Come home to Jesus!
Guy #2: By the way, just so you know, the rest of us all think you’re fucking nuts!
–St. Marks between 2nd & 3rd
overheard by: tourist girl
Teen Asian boy: So, the spelling bee–
Teen Indian girl: Was one of the kids Indian?
Teen Asian boy: Yeah, there was an Indian kid and a white kid.
Teen Indian girl: So typical. My parents entered me in a spelling bee and I was fucking horrible.
Teen Asian boy: Ha, ha, ha! Anyway, there were those two kids and I just wanted to throw PlayStations at them and yell, “I’m setting you free! I’m setting you free!”
–McDonalds, Union Square
Overheard by: Rachel W.
MC guy: So…you’ve probably been out hitting the New Year’s sales…What’s the next holiday to get its own sale? Martin Luther King, Jr. Day? I wonder how they’ll promote that sale.
Audience guy: …Free at last!
–Sidewalk Cafe, Avenue A
Hobo: Spare some change? Have any change to spare? Anyone? What, are you all playing communists tonight?
–Union Square
Overheard by: sevenphonecalls
Chick #1: I can’t wear wool, it gives me a rash…My mom likes argyle.
Chick #2: Isn’t that a kind of wool?
Chick #1: I don’t know. I used to have an argyle cat, and it didn’t make me itch, so maybe not.
–K-mart, East 8th Street
