Guy #1: Did you know that scientists say that sperm smells?
Guy #2: Do you mean that sperm can smell its way to the pussy or that sperm just smells in general?
–Elevator, Tribeca
Guy #1: Did you know that scientists say that sperm smells?
Guy #2: Do you mean that sperm can smell its way to the pussy or that sperm just smells in general?
–Elevator, Tribeca
Cute girl #1: You opened her mail?!
Cute girl #2: No… Jesse opened it. He thought it was one of those stupid dentist card things they send in the mail.
Cute girl #1: At least you'll have a conversation starter next time you talk to her.
Cute girl #2: Oh, yeah. What am I suppose to say? “So, your pap/cervix test was positive?”?
–Bay Ridge
Girl: Gross. It smells like nasty pussy here.
Guy: How do you know what that smells like?
Girl: Uh… well, it’s what I imagine it would smell like.
–7th & A
Chick #1: My underwear’s so cute! It’s got a bulldog on it.
Chick #2: Why’s it got a bulldog on it?
Chick #1: It’s so cute, it’s protecting my vagina from intruders.
–Loews Lincoln Square ladies’ room, West 68th Street
Overheard by: emily
Fashionista #1: Honestly, I think he would take whatever comes his way. He just wants to get laid.
Fashionista #2: And what? She's easy?
Fashionista #1: You know those European girls. She has an open-pussy-policy.
–E 86th St
Fratboy to friends: Other than the bleeding, I’d much prefer pussy.
–Peculiar Pub, LaGuardia & Bleecker
Overheard by: Spanky Van Dyke
Wife on cell: Hon, I think I might be pregnant. I’m getting nervous. I mean, my period’s not late, but I feel nauseous.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Snozberry
Guy with hot chick: Yeah, it feels fine! Is your tampon comfortable?
–Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lazy Mr. Wiggles
Loud lady: You know what my son calls my period?
–Q18 bus
Overheard by: Didn’t hang around to hear the rest…
Female employee: My boss hates hearing about menstruation. Any time I want to get him off my back I just tell him I’m having my period. He puts his hands up over his ears like he’s hearing nails on a blackboard. If he doesn’t leave me alone right away, I tell him my napkin is soaked and I have to change it.
–Peter Luger’s, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Big Larry
Dude: What I don’t get is, how did he get the tampon in his nose in the first place?
–Lower East Side
Hobo #1: Spare some change?
Wall Street woman: No, sorry.
Hobo #2: Nice camel toe!
–William & Beaver
Girl on cell: I don't know what it is with me and virgins. I think I've collected like four virgin scalps.
–Q58 Bus
Overheard by: Tom
Cashier, screaming to friend cashier: But why do you have to tell everyone that he's the guy who popped my cherry?
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: tomas
Ghetto girl: If you got finger-popped, you ain't no virgin.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Jake M
Teen boy on cell: Of course I don't have any kids! Girl, you know I'm pure–like water in Africa.
–Manhattan Ave & 123rd St.
Overheard by: CreativeBunny
Hispanic girl, loudly to a group of friends : I mean, I'm still a virgin and I have three STDs!
–Ave C
Lady to another: I'm waxing my crotch whether he likes it or not!
–52nd & Madison
Overheard by: someguyslikethejungle
Preteen: Yo, she bit Mark's crotch!
–66th & Broadway
Overheard by: dan
Girl to another: I don't think he'd like your stiletto heel in his actual crotch. Oh, now your twat is all over the place.
–Olivebridge
Man on cell, noticing, "The Big Penis Book": Hey, I'm at this bookstore and they have this big book of penises… Oh, you have it already? The big book, with the pink cover and crotch on the front? Oh, okay, cool.
–Bookstore, Brookyln
Bimbo: Crotches are always wrong!
–American Apparel Store
Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.
–A Train
Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?
–Halloween Adventure
Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!
–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria
Overheard by: kathcom
Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!
–Downtown 6 Train
Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.
–Downtown 6 train
Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: J. Ra
Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.
–Soho
Overheard by: Edan
