Do I Hear the Pitter Patter Of Tiny Wednesday One-Liners?

Sassy lady on cell: I tell you, he got the wrong bitch pregnant!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Stunned!

Girl: Ugh, pregnancy would be like, so much worse than gonorrhea.

–John Jay Dining Hall, Columbia University

Overheard by: jane

AT&T employee: Yeah, when I had my daughter I actually didn't have to stay overnight in the hospital. See, usually, after you have the baby, you have to pass the placenta. The doctor actually reached up inside me and just pulled it out, just like that. He told me I was fine to go home after that, so I did.

–AT&T Store, Union Square

20-something on cell: But I refused to go down on him…I told him I'm not ready to have a baby. (pause) Of course you can get pregnant by swallowing! Hello? Did you not take sex-ed in high school?

–61st St & Lexington Ave

Woman on cell: It's such a small opening, and it gets torn apart when you have a kid!

–42nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Weekender

20-something on cell: But I'm tired of always being pregnant.

–East Village

Overheard by: also tired

Posted on March 29, 2015
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Girls, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, School and studying, Sex, STDs, Store, Street, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Raise Your Hand If You've Had This Same Fight

Angry 20-something woman: The main problem is that our whole relationship is just about your dick.
30-something man, carrying loads of shopping bags: Well, it's about your pussy too.

–Madison Ave

Overheard by: itgoesandgoes

Posted on March 27, 2015
Men, Penis, Relationships, Street, Vagina, Women

Or a Big Bowl of Pussyflakes

Ghetto booty #1: So I went out with him the other day. Well, not out, we just went and smoked a cigarette at work. It was snowing and he was all catching snowflakes on his tongue and turns to me and is like, ‘Man, I wish these snowflakes was pussy falling in my mouth.’
Ghetto booty #2: Yeah, he wants you.

–6 train

Overheard by: xtina & sarah

Posted on March 27, 2015
Body Parts, Ghetto Chicks, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Sex & Relationships, Vagina

Ask Unspeakable Questions…

Father in a playful voice: Vagina? What’s in your vagina?
Four-year-old daughter: A wedgie!

–Canal & Bowery

Overheard by: NikkI W.

Posted on March 27, 2015
Dads, Kids, Questions, Vagina

“…Now Write Something Nice About My Balls”

Peppy Latina: I'm gonna read you a love letter.
Bored girl: Whatever.
Peppy Latina: Henry the VIII to Anne Boleyn…
Bored girl: Whatever, he beheaded her.
Peppy Latina: Man, why you gotta harsh it?
Bored girl: Dude, have you read James Joyce's letters to his wife? Those are disgusting!
Peppy Latina: Disgusting like sappy? Cute? Awful?
Bored girl: No, disgusting like “I can't wait until I'm back in Ireland smelling your v-j-j” disgusting.

–82nd & 5th

Posted on March 25, 2015
Books & Writing, Girls, History & Geography, Latinos, Love, Upper East Side, Vagina

The Mistake Is Starting Any Conversation With ‘Scientists Say’

Guy #1: Did you know that scientists say that sperm smells?
Guy #2: Do you mean that sperm can smell its way to the pussy or that sperm just smells in general?

–Elevator, Tribeca

Posted on March 23, 2015
Elevators, Idiots, Science, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

I Forget– Is Positive Good or Bad?

Cute girl #1: You opened her mail?!
Cute girl #2: No… Jesse opened it. He thought it was one of those stupid dentist card things they send in the mail.
Cute girl #1: At least you'll have a conversation starter next time you talk to her.
Cute girl #2: Oh, yeah. What am I suppose to say? “So, your pap/cervix test was positive?”?

–Bay Ridge

Posted on March 21, 2015
Brooklyn, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Questions, Stupidity, Vagina

All Part of Her Training with the U.S. Secret Cervix

Girl: Gross. It smells like nasty pussy here.
Guy: How do you know what that smells like?
Girl: Uh… well, it’s what I imagine it would smell like.

–7th & A

Posted on March 20, 2015
Girls, Questions, Scents of the City, Union Square and East Village, Vagina

Man’s Worst Friend

Chick #1: My underwear’s so cute! It’s got a bulldog on it.
Chick #2: Why’s it got a bulldog on it?
Chick #1: It’s so cute, it’s protecting my vagina from intruders.

–Loews Lincoln Square ladies’ room, West 68th Street

Overheard by: emily

Posted on March 11, 2015
Clothing, Girls, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina

She'll Accept Anybody's Visa

Fashionista #1: Honestly, I think he would take whatever comes his way. He just wants to get laid.
Fashionista #2: And what? She's easy?
Fashionista #1: You know those European girls. She has an open-pussy-policy.

–E 86th St

Posted on February 28, 2015
Fashionistas, Gossip, Hook Ups, Promiscuity, Questions, Upper East Side, Vagina, Wishes & desires