Tall female: Ohmigod, I can't wait for you to meet this guy!
Short black queen: You know what? You having a vagina isn't all that… My bu-gina is off the charts!
–Carnival Club
Overheard by: Antwon aka
Tall female: Ohmigod, I can't wait for you to meet this guy!
Short black queen: You know what? You having a vagina isn't all that… My bu-gina is off the charts!
–Carnival Club
Overheard by: Antwon aka
Bimbette: I don't think I've ever been that grossed out during the day. It all started when that woman smelled like pee…
–6 Train
Overheard by: j
Female suit: We were above an Indian restaurant and he was banging me from behind. I could smell the curry, and while he was banging me I was gagging.
–NJ Transit
Chick: You smell like vag and pizza.
–Borders
Girl to friend, after bending head down into her: Damn my puss stank.
–E Train
Overheard by: Nicole
College guy (screaming at friend): Dude! How are you even in college?! You smell like Oust! You smell like Tropical Glade!
–1 Train
Concerned hipster: I know you just orgasmed, but what's that smell?
–E 9th & 3rd
Overheard by: Peanut
NYU frat boy to another: Remember that time you popped that zit on my dick?!
–Waverly Place & Broadway
Overheard by: lezbotron
Older suit to younger suit: If you want people to move out of your way you just gotta say shit like: pussy, dick, cunt! (people move out of the way) See?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Brad
Thug to another, exiting a deli: The Salvation Army can suck my dick.
–Stanton & Ludlow
Overheard by: CN
Girl wearing hijab: That depends on whose dick it is!
–Hunter College, 68th & Lexington
Overheard by: off white
Dude: Is it true the city is outlawing fat trannies?
–14th & 9th
Girl on cell: … But the conversation is getting so good! I’m announcing my attraction to trannies, and you’re talking about the S-and-M relationship of our friends!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Poogins
Crazy drunk man to 11-year-olds: Suck my dick, bitch! And my pussy!
–F train
Tranny to Jehovah’s Witnesses: You don’t know nothing about God. I ain’t got no testicles. You can’t tell me about God.
–149th & St. Nicholas
Overheard by: KcB
Chubby guy: I don’t hang with women with tits smaller than mine.
–Sidewalk cafe, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Big Larry
Butch woman on cell: So, Jennifer — you know, my ex-wife’s boyfriend…
–Payless Shoe Source, 34th St
Man on sidewalk: You ain’t nuttin’ but a whore! I fed up payin’ fo’ yo’ shit! You gonna go broke!
Woman four stories up: Sweetheart, I got a pussy! I ain’t never gonna go broke!
–11th & 1st
Overheard by: muffin girl
Suit on cell: And your penis is bigger now?
–68th & Lexington
Guy: I’m being totally honest, you guys…I pulled my groin playing ping pong.
–51st & Lexington
Overheard by: Mike Barish
Lady: Well, I don’t think he realized I was a hooker!
–73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Sandro Olivieri
Girl on cell: So he was a big guy, and he was pretty big, but not that big, but I’m, like, tiny, so we tried, but it wouldn’t go in. Are you listening to me? No, it wouldn’t fit…what could I do? I dropped to my knees and did what I could, but we just won’t work.
–West Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Darby O’Gill
Mustache: I walked in and it was clearly a gang bang gone awry.
–Dive bar, 96th Street
Three-year-old in stroller: Have you ever seen a pussy?
Nanny: No.
–76th St & Amsterdam
Girl: No! I will not put your Propel bottle in my vag!
Boy: Come on, I’m sure it’ll fit!
Girl: No! I will not! Do you want vag juices all up in your Propel bottle?!
(boy walks away)
Girl (to self): I didn’t think so.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Sophie
Sassy lady on cell: I tell you, he got the wrong bitch pregnant!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Stunned!
Girl: Ugh, pregnancy would be like, so much worse than gonorrhea.
–John Jay Dining Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: jane
AT&T employee: Yeah, when I had my daughter I actually didn't have to stay overnight in the hospital. See, usually, after you have the baby, you have to pass the placenta. The doctor actually reached up inside me and just pulled it out, just like that. He told me I was fine to go home after that, so I did.
–AT&T Store, Union Square
20-something on cell: But I refused to go down on him…I told him I'm not ready to have a baby. (pause) Of course you can get pregnant by swallowing! Hello? Did you not take sex-ed in high school?
–61st St & Lexington Ave
Woman on cell: It's such a small opening, and it gets torn apart when you have a kid!
–42nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Weekender
20-something on cell: But I'm tired of always being pregnant.
–East Village
Overheard by: also tired
Angry 20-something woman: The main problem is that our whole relationship is just about your dick.
30-something man, carrying loads of shopping bags: Well, it's about your pussy too.
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: itgoesandgoes
